This time a year ago, I had gone to the doctor with Jeff to find out what the sex of our baby was and whether he was healthy thus far.
This time a year ago, I found out that I would be the mother of another beautiful boy.
This time a year ago, I saw a beautifully shaped little guy with very healthy insides. This time a year ago, I faced the unknown of twice weekly treatments, scary steroids and the fear that none of it would work.
This time a year ago, I ordered stockings for "Mommy" and "Daddy" to join our stocking we had for "Jay." This time a year ago, I longed for that fourth stocking that would read "Samuel."
And how quickly the year has passed.
So much has happened since this time a year ago.
My body has completely healed from the brutal Hell of treatments. I really am in the best shape of my life (a vow I made to myself after what all I put myself through.)
Jay is such an amazing child, talking in complex and crazy sentences, trying to read already!
Samuel is a beautiful, 8 month old little wonder, busy trying to crawl, laughing at everything and the absolute joy of my life.
And my mantle is complete with that fourth stocking, that reads "Samuel."
I don't know what next year will bring, but what I do know, is that I have all my boys home for Christmas. What a blessing a year can be!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Driving...By Yourself.....with Two Kids.....from South Texas.....
So changing my melancholy reflections to funnier thoughts.....
Last week, after everyone left our house on Thanksgiving, Jeff and I loaded up our boys and drove down to South Texas to his aunt and uncle's ranch. When we left our house, it was a balmy eighty degrees. After the four hour drive, it was a windy, chilly low fourty-something degrees and drizzling!!
Everyone was at the ranch for deer hunting and hanging out. It turns out that small children don't do very well in the cold and with lots of people. By the following afternoon, Samuel was very cranky and acting like he was getting sick (he just got over an Upper Respiratory Infection the week before.) So I told Jeff he could catch a ride back with his mom and dad the next day, but that I had two capable hands, the Thomas the Train and Friends DVD, a Navigation system and carseats, so we were going to roll. That was at 2:45, when it was very sunny and seemed like a good idea.
Within an hour of driving, my back was aching and Thomas was rolling for the second time. It started to not feel like such a good idea!! I had to pee within only twenty minutes of leaving, Jay was in his regular underwear, but I was determined we were NOT going to stop unless Jay couldn't stand it anymore. My bladder aint what she used to be, especially after an appendectomy and two c-sections, but I can be extremely bull-headed.
We had been on the road for about two hours when Jay finally told me he needed to pee. I had two choices: just pull over on the side of 77 and let him do his business (we were in the middle of nowhere), or try to get to a town and go in a gas station or something like that. I chose just to pull over and let him go in the grass. The way I saw it, I was by myself with two kids that weigh over 20 lbs a piece and no stroller, and again - BY MYSELF. After Jay did his business, I got him buckled back in. Samuel was still smiling and happy. I looked at him with such pity and said, "Oh Buddy, you're happy now. You'll hate me in about an hour."
By the time we made it to Halletsville, it was getting dark. We'd been on the road for roughly three hours. I still had to pee like no man's business, but at that point, my bladder was so full, I was pretty much numb to all feeling, my blood pressure was at the boiling point and I was racing against the sun. Samuel started his first of about five meltdowns.
He had a bottle before we had left the ranch and had been changed right before we left, but at that point, who KNEW what had began to brew in his pants and the poor kid was probably hungry. Thomas was on about his fifth round of being on the DVD player - seriously, best damn invention for a parent's car. Yeah, yeah - to all of you that aren't parents yet - I said it, too. "I'll NEVER let my kids watch TV in the car." Famous last words. Never say never, okay? Oh, and after you have one kid, you realize a little TV, sugar, chicken nuggets, McDonald's, etc. WON'T kill them. Hell, we all turned out okay. But then again, that's not saying much.
Anyhow, the navigation system had me staying on 77 pretty much the entire trip. So when I got to Schulenburg, i made the executive decision to get on I-10 and start busting it out to get us HOME!! I was beginning to feel delirious. George Carlin is the narrator for Thomas and Friends and I was VERY over listening to him narrate about how Thomas was stuck, and he was ANGRY. George Carlin is much better as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Samuel was on about Meltdown #10 when I unlocked the gate. Our neighbors, Tony and Nancy, were at my house, feeding my dogs and checking on things when we drove up. Jay never had a meltdown....until we got home. Thankfully, T-Man and Nancy helped me get the boys inside. Poor Samuel had the biggest poop in his pants, but when he realized that I wasn't the meanest woman in the world and had simply been driving him back home to his cozy, warm house, he looked at me like, 'Okay, Mom. If you just get this huge mess out of my pants, give me some food, draw me a nice hot bath and put me in my bed; you and me are square.'
Driving by yourself for a long distance with multiple children is definitely not fun. I wouldn't recommend it as a recreational activity. However, as I go through my days of parenting young children, I realize I am pretty tough, I can handle a lot, and that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Suffice it to say, both boys slept in (very atypical,) and I was oh so happy to sleep in my nice, warm bed after a hot shower as well. AND I refuse to watch Thomas and Friends for a good while, at the very least.
Last week, after everyone left our house on Thanksgiving, Jeff and I loaded up our boys and drove down to South Texas to his aunt and uncle's ranch. When we left our house, it was a balmy eighty degrees. After the four hour drive, it was a windy, chilly low fourty-something degrees and drizzling!!
Everyone was at the ranch for deer hunting and hanging out. It turns out that small children don't do very well in the cold and with lots of people. By the following afternoon, Samuel was very cranky and acting like he was getting sick (he just got over an Upper Respiratory Infection the week before.) So I told Jeff he could catch a ride back with his mom and dad the next day, but that I had two capable hands, the Thomas the Train and Friends DVD, a Navigation system and carseats, so we were going to roll. That was at 2:45, when it was very sunny and seemed like a good idea.
Within an hour of driving, my back was aching and Thomas was rolling for the second time. It started to not feel like such a good idea!! I had to pee within only twenty minutes of leaving, Jay was in his regular underwear, but I was determined we were NOT going to stop unless Jay couldn't stand it anymore. My bladder aint what she used to be, especially after an appendectomy and two c-sections, but I can be extremely bull-headed.
We had been on the road for about two hours when Jay finally told me he needed to pee. I had two choices: just pull over on the side of 77 and let him do his business (we were in the middle of nowhere), or try to get to a town and go in a gas station or something like that. I chose just to pull over and let him go in the grass. The way I saw it, I was by myself with two kids that weigh over 20 lbs a piece and no stroller, and again - BY MYSELF. After Jay did his business, I got him buckled back in. Samuel was still smiling and happy. I looked at him with such pity and said, "Oh Buddy, you're happy now. You'll hate me in about an hour."
By the time we made it to Halletsville, it was getting dark. We'd been on the road for roughly three hours. I still had to pee like no man's business, but at that point, my bladder was so full, I was pretty much numb to all feeling, my blood pressure was at the boiling point and I was racing against the sun. Samuel started his first of about five meltdowns.
He had a bottle before we had left the ranch and had been changed right before we left, but at that point, who KNEW what had began to brew in his pants and the poor kid was probably hungry. Thomas was on about his fifth round of being on the DVD player - seriously, best damn invention for a parent's car. Yeah, yeah - to all of you that aren't parents yet - I said it, too. "I'll NEVER let my kids watch TV in the car." Famous last words. Never say never, okay? Oh, and after you have one kid, you realize a little TV, sugar, chicken nuggets, McDonald's, etc. WON'T kill them. Hell, we all turned out okay. But then again, that's not saying much.
Anyhow, the navigation system had me staying on 77 pretty much the entire trip. So when I got to Schulenburg, i made the executive decision to get on I-10 and start busting it out to get us HOME!! I was beginning to feel delirious. George Carlin is the narrator for Thomas and Friends and I was VERY over listening to him narrate about how Thomas was stuck, and he was ANGRY. George Carlin is much better as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Samuel was on about Meltdown #10 when I unlocked the gate. Our neighbors, Tony and Nancy, were at my house, feeding my dogs and checking on things when we drove up. Jay never had a meltdown....until we got home. Thankfully, T-Man and Nancy helped me get the boys inside. Poor Samuel had the biggest poop in his pants, but when he realized that I wasn't the meanest woman in the world and had simply been driving him back home to his cozy, warm house, he looked at me like, 'Okay, Mom. If you just get this huge mess out of my pants, give me some food, draw me a nice hot bath and put me in my bed; you and me are square.'
Driving by yourself for a long distance with multiple children is definitely not fun. I wouldn't recommend it as a recreational activity. However, as I go through my days of parenting young children, I realize I am pretty tough, I can handle a lot, and that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Suffice it to say, both boys slept in (very atypical,) and I was oh so happy to sleep in my nice, warm bed after a hot shower as well. AND I refuse to watch Thomas and Friends for a good while, at the very least.
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Curse....or a Blessing in Disguise?
As women, we have all had that moment in our lives, probably back in our single or newly married days, when children were mearly a glimmer in our eye,just a thought, a hope and a future dream. You are sitting in a bar or a nightclub with your girlfriends or your significant other when you spot it.......that very obviously pregnant woman, chain-smoking cigarettes and guzzling a beer. And even though you may be nowhere close to being a mother yet, the thought goes through your head, 'What in the HELL is that woman thinking?'
Yes, those women. The ones that don't even realize the fragility of the life that they carry inside of them. The ones that even though their babies "may" be born "healthy" upon appearance, may grow up to have all sorts of issues simply because they couldn't abstain for nine measly months while they participated in one of God's most miraculous events. Wow.
My husband and I were engaged and we were at a local festival with his family, including his sister and her daughter, who, at the time, was about three months old. My sister-in-law was an avid breastfeeder, she was carrying the baby in a sling, and just being a wonderful mother.
We then saw a baby that was roughly the same age, haphazardly laying in a dingy, little umbrella stroller, with no neck control at all, the poor baby looked like a rag doll. My husband said, "Oh my gosh!! Look at that baby!! He can't be older than two months!! Won't that damage the poor kid?" A passerby heard us commenting on the baby, and not missing a beat, said, "Nah....Don't you know? Those kinds of babies bounce?" It was hysterical!! But sadly, it was true. It seems that babies are definitely given to different mothers, and those poor little ones have to pretty tough and tenacious to get through every day.
Those poor babies whose mothers don't care one lick about what they do to them, whether in the womb or out of the womb, don't realize the blessings they have in their possesion, and just how lucky they are to be able to reproduce so easily.
So that brings me to us.......yes, all of us mothers who are in some way, shape or form high risk. Those of us that struggle to have our families. Whether you struggle with infertility, multiple miscarriages, blood disorders, or whatever has been thrown at you, we are in that high risk category. And it sucks. Or does it?
I mean, yes, obviously, it does. And none of us would wish any of our problems on our worst enemy because we know how awful whatever our diagnosis is to deal with when so many women have it so easy.
However, if we look at it as a mixed blessing, we realize that while our high risk diagnosis does indeed stink, we are so fortunate to look at our kids and realize that they are little miracles and the fact that we are able to get them here whole and healthy is such a blessing. And even though, as mothers, we have moments when we want to pull our hair out with worry, at least we know that we have something precious to worry about.
And THAT is definitely NOT a curse at all.
Yes, those women. The ones that don't even realize the fragility of the life that they carry inside of them. The ones that even though their babies "may" be born "healthy" upon appearance, may grow up to have all sorts of issues simply because they couldn't abstain for nine measly months while they participated in one of God's most miraculous events. Wow.
My husband and I were engaged and we were at a local festival with his family, including his sister and her daughter, who, at the time, was about three months old. My sister-in-law was an avid breastfeeder, she was carrying the baby in a sling, and just being a wonderful mother.
We then saw a baby that was roughly the same age, haphazardly laying in a dingy, little umbrella stroller, with no neck control at all, the poor baby looked like a rag doll. My husband said, "Oh my gosh!! Look at that baby!! He can't be older than two months!! Won't that damage the poor kid?" A passerby heard us commenting on the baby, and not missing a beat, said, "Nah....Don't you know? Those kinds of babies bounce?" It was hysterical!! But sadly, it was true. It seems that babies are definitely given to different mothers, and those poor little ones have to pretty tough and tenacious to get through every day.
Those poor babies whose mothers don't care one lick about what they do to them, whether in the womb or out of the womb, don't realize the blessings they have in their possesion, and just how lucky they are to be able to reproduce so easily.
So that brings me to us.......yes, all of us mothers who are in some way, shape or form high risk. Those of us that struggle to have our families. Whether you struggle with infertility, multiple miscarriages, blood disorders, or whatever has been thrown at you, we are in that high risk category. And it sucks. Or does it?
I mean, yes, obviously, it does. And none of us would wish any of our problems on our worst enemy because we know how awful whatever our diagnosis is to deal with when so many women have it so easy.
However, if we look at it as a mixed blessing, we realize that while our high risk diagnosis does indeed stink, we are so fortunate to look at our kids and realize that they are little miracles and the fact that we are able to get them here whole and healthy is such a blessing. And even though, as mothers, we have moments when we want to pull our hair out with worry, at least we know that we have something precious to worry about.
And THAT is definitely NOT a curse at all.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
So many blessings to be thankful for....
I've been thinking all day about what all I am thankful for and how much life can change in the course of one year.
A year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was just over 16 weeks pregnant with Samuel, but of course, I didn't even know if I was having a boy or a girl. Was it a Samuel or an Eleanore? (That was our name for a little girl, by the way.)
And now I am the mother of two amazing little boys and wife to an amazing guy. What blessings!!
This year, we donated money to the Star of Hope in Houston. We got our receipt in the mail along with a pamphlet about the missions we are supporting. I cried like a baby when I read all the stories and saw different pictures. Like I was pregnant or something!!
This time of year brings out the sentimental part of me (Yes, I am very emotional, like you can't tell from my posts.) But this time REALLY does more than other times, I guess because of the types of kids that I teach and the stuff I see on a day to day basis. It makes me realize that I am simply blessed because of good choices and fate, I suppose.
Anyways, I'm rambling on and on, but really. I am just so dang thankful that I have all that I have, and I remember, daily, as I am rocking Samuel or snuggling with Jay or locking the doors of our wonderful home that life could always be very different and that we can't take our blessings for granted.
I hope everyone that reads this is also celebrating a happy Thanksgiving and feels as blessed and fulfilled as myself. Peace and love to you all!!!!
A year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was just over 16 weeks pregnant with Samuel, but of course, I didn't even know if I was having a boy or a girl. Was it a Samuel or an Eleanore? (That was our name for a little girl, by the way.)
And now I am the mother of two amazing little boys and wife to an amazing guy. What blessings!!
This year, we donated money to the Star of Hope in Houston. We got our receipt in the mail along with a pamphlet about the missions we are supporting. I cried like a baby when I read all the stories and saw different pictures. Like I was pregnant or something!!
This time of year brings out the sentimental part of me (Yes, I am very emotional, like you can't tell from my posts.) But this time REALLY does more than other times, I guess because of the types of kids that I teach and the stuff I see on a day to day basis. It makes me realize that I am simply blessed because of good choices and fate, I suppose.
Anyways, I'm rambling on and on, but really. I am just so dang thankful that I have all that I have, and I remember, daily, as I am rocking Samuel or snuggling with Jay or locking the doors of our wonderful home that life could always be very different and that we can't take our blessings for granted.
I hope everyone that reads this is also celebrating a happy Thanksgiving and feels as blessed and fulfilled as myself. Peace and love to you all!!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Turn out the lights.....the party's over!
So Jeff and I have made it official that we are done having children as of today.
And it's a very bittersweet closing on a chapter in our lives.
But also a very necessary one.
Don't get me wrong, even if we "could" continue having children, which, yes, technically we could, but we all know that it is not medically advised, but if we were able to have children safely, we probably would still be finished having children. Two was always our magic number, regardless of what we had. Two is a great number. You are always busy, but not to the point of total madness, you have two hands to hold two little hands, two parents to man the children when things get chaotic, etc.
But I guess what's so hard is that it is all very final and done. It's just another part of my life that is "done." There's no more quick trips to the pharmacy to pick up a test or that total excitement when the test comes up positive. There's no more baby registries or dreaming of nurseries or thinking up baby names.
Remember when you were in junior high and high school and you would sit at your best friend's house and talk about baby names and who you wanted to marry when you grew up and what you wanted to be? All that has happened for me and now that part is over. It's just really sad, like saying goodbye to an old friend that will never return.
But in another way, it is very liberating. Now we can focus on raising our sons, looking forward to all the fun things we will do as a family: vacations to snow ski, the boys playing Little League Baseball, their first day of school, their first dance, their first girlfriend, etc.
One chapter of my life has ended while another is just beginning, and that part is exciting!! But sometimes you wish you could just savor that last part of the book a little longer. But unfortunately, in life, unlike a book, we can't turn back the pages....we just have to keep moving along to find out what happens next.
And it's a very bittersweet closing on a chapter in our lives.
But also a very necessary one.
Don't get me wrong, even if we "could" continue having children, which, yes, technically we could, but we all know that it is not medically advised, but if we were able to have children safely, we probably would still be finished having children. Two was always our magic number, regardless of what we had. Two is a great number. You are always busy, but not to the point of total madness, you have two hands to hold two little hands, two parents to man the children when things get chaotic, etc.
But I guess what's so hard is that it is all very final and done. It's just another part of my life that is "done." There's no more quick trips to the pharmacy to pick up a test or that total excitement when the test comes up positive. There's no more baby registries or dreaming of nurseries or thinking up baby names.
Remember when you were in junior high and high school and you would sit at your best friend's house and talk about baby names and who you wanted to marry when you grew up and what you wanted to be? All that has happened for me and now that part is over. It's just really sad, like saying goodbye to an old friend that will never return.
But in another way, it is very liberating. Now we can focus on raising our sons, looking forward to all the fun things we will do as a family: vacations to snow ski, the boys playing Little League Baseball, their first day of school, their first dance, their first girlfriend, etc.
One chapter of my life has ended while another is just beginning, and that part is exciting!! But sometimes you wish you could just savor that last part of the book a little longer. But unfortunately, in life, unlike a book, we can't turn back the pages....we just have to keep moving along to find out what happens next.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Three months old!!
I've been away from work for four months now and Samuel is a little over three months old!! Jay will be three years old on the 15th of this month!! Man, how the time flies!!
Samuel is doing great, sleeping through the night since he was seven weeks and starting to teethe already!! Jay is as smart as ever. He can play the C scale on the Piano, knows that an Octagon has 8 sides and can say the Lord's Prayer in Spanish!! Such a smart guy!!
I'm going back to work at the end of next week. I'm ready. Stay at home moms are very brave individuals and I cannot stand people who tisk tisk at them because I can assure you that staying at home is a much harder job than anything I've ever done. I, personally, am a much better mother because I go to work. So, to all you stay at home mommies, BRAVO and KUDOS!! You deserve it!!
I'm feeling good about getting back to work because for the past three years, since I gave birth to Jay, all I worried about was making my family complete and wondering what had happened to make Jay so sick. Then once we knew what had happened, all I worried about was rather or not we would get pregnant again. Then once I got pregnant, all I did was worry about whether or not the baby would make it through the pregnancy. Now I feel like I don't have to worry anymore, I can finally just focus on enjoying my family and enjoying being a teacher again.
This school year will be tough, as far as leaving the boys, whom I've grown so attached to and enjoyed watching them grow and develop, and also, some of the students heading into my classroom are tough and will be hard to teach because of different issues, but it will be rewarding, as all teachers know. Teaching is so rewarding. Being a mom is so rewarding.
I have the best life ever. I really, really do.
And honestly, not having to worry every day of my life like I have in the past, that is just so nice. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. Finally.
Samuel is doing great, sleeping through the night since he was seven weeks and starting to teethe already!! Jay is as smart as ever. He can play the C scale on the Piano, knows that an Octagon has 8 sides and can say the Lord's Prayer in Spanish!! Such a smart guy!!
I'm going back to work at the end of next week. I'm ready. Stay at home moms are very brave individuals and I cannot stand people who tisk tisk at them because I can assure you that staying at home is a much harder job than anything I've ever done. I, personally, am a much better mother because I go to work. So, to all you stay at home mommies, BRAVO and KUDOS!! You deserve it!!
I'm feeling good about getting back to work because for the past three years, since I gave birth to Jay, all I worried about was making my family complete and wondering what had happened to make Jay so sick. Then once we knew what had happened, all I worried about was rather or not we would get pregnant again. Then once I got pregnant, all I did was worry about whether or not the baby would make it through the pregnancy. Now I feel like I don't have to worry anymore, I can finally just focus on enjoying my family and enjoying being a teacher again.
This school year will be tough, as far as leaving the boys, whom I've grown so attached to and enjoyed watching them grow and develop, and also, some of the students heading into my classroom are tough and will be hard to teach because of different issues, but it will be rewarding, as all teachers know. Teaching is so rewarding. Being a mom is so rewarding.
I have the best life ever. I really, really do.
And honestly, not having to worry every day of my life like I have in the past, that is just so nice. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. Finally.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Did you ever wonder?
I saw this today on one of my NAIT friend's facebook page. It's about the mothers of preemies. For me, I just edited it, and put NAIT in for preemie. Most NAIT moms are also moms to preemies. I was blessed that my little Samuel was only preemie by three weeks, but many of us have babies much earlier. This made me tear up, especially about the part of taking nothing for granted....nothing. Enjoy! And if you know a mom of a preemie or a special needs child, give her a hug......
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
... See More
"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Marjorie Forrest, daughter.Patron Saint, Celia.
Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.
"Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie.
"The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that.
This one is perfect.She has just the right amount of selfishness.
"The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
... See More
"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Marjorie Forrest, daughter.Patron Saint, Celia.
Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.
"Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie.
"The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that.
This one is perfect.She has just the right amount of selfishness.
"The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Oh, and a little update on Samuel and Jay!!
I guess I should tell everyone a little bit about the little boys I'm raising!! They are so awesome and I just love them to pieces!! Jay is doing great. He's really working hard at potty training and we are doing well with everything #1, but still having a tough time with numero dos. Poor baby.
He is also super excited because daddy bought him a new bunk bed!! It has a full size bed on the bottom and a twin on top!! We are redecorating his room, because a lot of his stuff was pretty hodge-podge. It's going to be like an old fish camp. Jay LOVES fishing and always wants Jeff to take him to the lake. So it should be a big hit!!
Samuel is awesome. He turned ten weeks yesterday and at the pediatrician, he weighed 12 lbs 7 oz!! A big guy, though not as big as Jay was at that age (14 lbs 7 oz!!) What can I say? My boys can eat!! Samuel is also a great sleeper. He sleeps through the night already (started that at 7 weeks). He will sometimes still wake up for a bottle, usually around 3:30 or 4:00, drink it and then back down until 8 or 9 o' clock. But latelet, it's been all night, like from 8 until 7 am. We definitely can't complain about sleep in this house.
He is also smiling a lot and loves to coo at his daddy and Nanny's daughters, Jenny and Brittney. I don't know what is up with my boys and Nanny's girls, but both of my boys are just in love with them!! (Jenny is 17 and Brittney is 20!)
Jay just adores his brother. He will talk to him in the morning while I am changing Sam's diaper and say, "Hey buddy!! Whatcha doing? Did you have a good sleep? You're my baby brother!!" It's the most precious thing in the world to see how much he loves him. I hope that they grow up being good friends and really being close.
I honestly can say that my boys are my universe, Jeff included. :)
He is also super excited because daddy bought him a new bunk bed!! It has a full size bed on the bottom and a twin on top!! We are redecorating his room, because a lot of his stuff was pretty hodge-podge. It's going to be like an old fish camp. Jay LOVES fishing and always wants Jeff to take him to the lake. So it should be a big hit!!
Samuel is awesome. He turned ten weeks yesterday and at the pediatrician, he weighed 12 lbs 7 oz!! A big guy, though not as big as Jay was at that age (14 lbs 7 oz!!) What can I say? My boys can eat!! Samuel is also a great sleeper. He sleeps through the night already (started that at 7 weeks). He will sometimes still wake up for a bottle, usually around 3:30 or 4:00, drink it and then back down until 8 or 9 o' clock. But latelet, it's been all night, like from 8 until 7 am. We definitely can't complain about sleep in this house.
He is also smiling a lot and loves to coo at his daddy and Nanny's daughters, Jenny and Brittney. I don't know what is up with my boys and Nanny's girls, but both of my boys are just in love with them!! (Jenny is 17 and Brittney is 20!)
Jay just adores his brother. He will talk to him in the morning while I am changing Sam's diaper and say, "Hey buddy!! Whatcha doing? Did you have a good sleep? You're my baby brother!!" It's the most precious thing in the world to see how much he loves him. I hope that they grow up being good friends and really being close.
I honestly can say that my boys are my universe, Jeff included. :)
Has it really been ten weeks?
How is it that ten weeks with a newborn pass so much quicker than ten weeks of IVIG treatments? Maybe because during the IVIG, you are getting poked relentlessly with IV needles? Seriously. I will never do that again!! Well, never say never, but on July 30th, we are making the move to permanently addressing our future fertility. Hmmmm....how do I feel about that?
People still tell us we should go for a girl, granted, these are generally people that really don't know us that well and still equate our experience with something like Rh factor. Gee, if only a couple of shots could've made things better....and actually kept his counts high. I digress.
I'm really okay with not having anymore children. Today, at my best friend's daughter's first birthday party, her cousin's wife said to me, "Oh, you had another boy." And I lovingly looked down at my little Samuel and said, "Oh, yes, another little boy," and she said, "Oh, well, that's okay," and my best friend jumped in and said, "Sarah WANTED another boy,"......thanks, Amanda, by the way.....
Truth be told, I didn't give a sh** WHAT I had, as long as the baby was healthy and didn't have a bleed, I just wanted a BABY. A CHILD. It didn't matter to me what the baby looked like or anything, just a healthy baby.
When we were contemplating even having another child, I felt such a sense of guilt and like I was being so selfish....pushing my luck, asking the Lord for something wonderful when I already had one miracle, I already had a "something wonderful," how dare I ask Him for just one more? When mothers come to our support group looking for answers after they've lost their child to a massive brain bleed, I find myself moved to tears at how lucky and blessed I am. I don't take my children for granted, ever. I would lie if I said that I didn't get frustrated when one refuses to go down to sleep or the other is whining so loud, it sounds like a siren that just won't shut up!! But I'm only human!! These things can drive anyone to drink!! But I don't take them for granted, because I know how close we came to walking away with nothing.
So, no. I'm not sad that we are making our fertility history. It's fine. We are a complete family. The moment I heard Samuel crying, I knew I was okay with calling it quits. The Lord may not have given me any girls to care for personally, but He gave me five beautiful nieces to love as well as my two little princes. God is good. All the time.
I know that every little life is a miracle. But when you've mentally and physically pushed yourself to the edge, there's just something a little different about that little miracle. Damn. You just cherish it all the more.
People still tell us we should go for a girl, granted, these are generally people that really don't know us that well and still equate our experience with something like Rh factor. Gee, if only a couple of shots could've made things better....and actually kept his counts high. I digress.
I'm really okay with not having anymore children. Today, at my best friend's daughter's first birthday party, her cousin's wife said to me, "Oh, you had another boy." And I lovingly looked down at my little Samuel and said, "Oh, yes, another little boy," and she said, "Oh, well, that's okay," and my best friend jumped in and said, "Sarah WANTED another boy,"......thanks, Amanda, by the way.....
Truth be told, I didn't give a sh** WHAT I had, as long as the baby was healthy and didn't have a bleed, I just wanted a BABY. A CHILD. It didn't matter to me what the baby looked like or anything, just a healthy baby.
When we were contemplating even having another child, I felt such a sense of guilt and like I was being so selfish....pushing my luck, asking the Lord for something wonderful when I already had one miracle, I already had a "something wonderful," how dare I ask Him for just one more? When mothers come to our support group looking for answers after they've lost their child to a massive brain bleed, I find myself moved to tears at how lucky and blessed I am. I don't take my children for granted, ever. I would lie if I said that I didn't get frustrated when one refuses to go down to sleep or the other is whining so loud, it sounds like a siren that just won't shut up!! But I'm only human!! These things can drive anyone to drink!! But I don't take them for granted, because I know how close we came to walking away with nothing.
So, no. I'm not sad that we are making our fertility history. It's fine. We are a complete family. The moment I heard Samuel crying, I knew I was okay with calling it quits. The Lord may not have given me any girls to care for personally, but He gave me five beautiful nieces to love as well as my two little princes. God is good. All the time.
I know that every little life is a miracle. But when you've mentally and physically pushed yourself to the edge, there's just something a little different about that little miracle. Damn. You just cherish it all the more.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Happy One Month Birthday, Samuel!!
I can't believe I've been the mother of two for a month now!! It's been great so far!!
Samuel is a very sweet baby and still does a lot of sleeping (knock on wood!!). Of course, he's staying awake for longer stretches and can be very alert (sometimes at 4 am), but he has a mellow disposition and doesn't get too upset unless he's really hungry, really wet/dirty or really tired. Usually, when those needs are met, he's cool!!
Because he's such a mellow baby, generally there is only the need of one parent to get the job done, and mainly that's me. However, I DO have another child, Jay, and he is usually found glued to his daddy during the daylight hours!! Thank God I have a wonderful husband that even after a long day at work is still a very hands on father.
That has been the biggest adjustment for life with two. When it's just one child, you can swap off different child chores or take turns sleeping in on the weekends. That all ends with two!! Basically, I get up for all the night feedings during the week and Jeff relieves me on the weekends and even lets me sleep in......and makes breakfast!! Yes, I am married to a beautiful and wonderful man.
I know that as both my boys get older, it will get easier, but at the sane time, there is another side to that....it means they are getting older. They are no longer babies and they won't need their ol' mom all the time. So while I begrudge and curse the 3:30 feedings that turn into two hour "who can keep their eyes wide open the longest" contests that Samuel and I have, I also relish in them, because I know they are fleeting moments I will never get back.
Happy One Month Birthday, Samuel. Don't go growing up too fast on me now!!
Samuel is a very sweet baby and still does a lot of sleeping (knock on wood!!). Of course, he's staying awake for longer stretches and can be very alert (sometimes at 4 am), but he has a mellow disposition and doesn't get too upset unless he's really hungry, really wet/dirty or really tired. Usually, when those needs are met, he's cool!!
Because he's such a mellow baby, generally there is only the need of one parent to get the job done, and mainly that's me. However, I DO have another child, Jay, and he is usually found glued to his daddy during the daylight hours!! Thank God I have a wonderful husband that even after a long day at work is still a very hands on father.
That has been the biggest adjustment for life with two. When it's just one child, you can swap off different child chores or take turns sleeping in on the weekends. That all ends with two!! Basically, I get up for all the night feedings during the week and Jeff relieves me on the weekends and even lets me sleep in......and makes breakfast!! Yes, I am married to a beautiful and wonderful man.
I know that as both my boys get older, it will get easier, but at the sane time, there is another side to that....it means they are getting older. They are no longer babies and they won't need their ol' mom all the time. So while I begrudge and curse the 3:30 feedings that turn into two hour "who can keep their eyes wide open the longest" contests that Samuel and I have, I also relish in them, because I know they are fleeting moments I will never get back.
Happy One Month Birthday, Samuel. Don't go growing up too fast on me now!!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Birth of Samuel Alan
So, many people are probably wondering how exactly it happened that we had Samuel already when the plan was to have him on Monday, April 26th. So here is our story!!
Jeff and I woke up yesterday, Friday, April 23, 2010 at around 4:45 in the morning to get up and get ready for the Amniocentesis. We left all the bags, partly because I had a feeling that it was going to end up being the day, and if we left the bags, we would definitely end up needing them!! We got Jay up pretty early, and I think he must have had the feeling, too, because Jay is normally such a sound sleeper, but he had gotten himself up at 3 that morning and Jeff had to put him back to bed!! Everyone was on edge!!
I obviously hadn't eaten since the night before and I was STARVING!! We dropped Jay off with Nanny at her church at around 5:45. She was there taking Jenny to seminary so it was right on the way, which was perfect!! Grandma would be picking him up that afernoon since I was planning on laying low after having the amnio done. It was just a regular day for Jay and that was how we would've wanted it. Jay doesn't do stress!!
We got to St. Luke's Labor and Delivery right at 7 like Dr. Ivey had suggested. Dr. Ivey was taking over my OB case because Dr. Vyas, my normal OB had been put on bedrest herself. She was two weeks behind me in her pregnancy and had developed some complications as well. Anyhow, both Dr. Ivey and Dr. Moise were in surgery or other procedures and so we waited for them in the triage. We were supposed to start the Amnio at 8, but had to start at 9 because of them running a little behind schedule, which was fine.
Well, we had to do the amnio right there in the triage because the whole Labor and Delivery floor was completely full with laboring mothers. Oh, those Spring babies!! It wasn't too bad to do it in triage, except it was a little tight. They had me and baby on the monitor, the ultrasound machine, the bed, Dr. Ivey, Dr. Moise, his wife/nurse Karen, my triage nurse Parran and Jeff. It was crazy!! They gave me a little sedative to take the edge off and some medicine to stop contractions and went on with it!! No numbing cream or anything, just a straight needle to the belly!! Honestly, I didn't feel the needle, just the huge cramp in my uterus from the fluid being pulled out. Dr. Moise did the procedure while Karen helped me focus on my breathing to take my mind off of everything. Once the fluid was out, Dr. Moise said he knew it was mature, even without sending it out because it was foamy and he could see the vernix floating. So he sent it off to the lab and Dr. Ivey had to go to a surgery.
I asked Dr. Moise if it were truly mature, would we be able to go ahead and deliver Samuel and he told me it was a possibility, because Andrea, the other NAIT mom, had had to deliver her little boy the day before because she had developed Pre-eclampsia even though she was four weeks earlier than me. They had to get him out. So the donor had already come and donated for her little one, but it turned out that he didn't need any transfusions because he was born with a decent count and was holding out pretty decently. They had dropped, but not low enough to consider a transfusion.
So he had Karen call the NICU at Texas Children's and they said yeah, they had the platelets and they would expire at midnight and the donor was coming to donate again on Saturday so it looked like Andrea's baby wouldn't be using them and they would just go to waste. So then the labs came back and said, yes, Samuel's lungs were fine and so Dr. Moise talked to Dr. Ivey and he came and told us at around 12:30 that we could go ahead and have Samuel if we liked the sound of April 23rd!!
Jeff rushed into high gear calling everyone and of course, it just so happened that my brother and sister-in-law were in California, my Dad was in San Antonio and Jeff's sister is currently at her in-law's beach house and still doesn't know we had the baby!! But family still managed to make it up in time to wish us well and at 2:48, they walked me into the OR to get prepped!!
I had a spinal block and it worked really well, I couldn't feel a thing!! They almost forgot to get Jeff back in the OR in time because when he walked in, I was already open!! At 3:42, Samuel Alan came screaming and crying into the world. He was just beautiful!! I couldn't control my tears!! It was one of the happiest moments of my entire life!! All the pain and agony of this pregnancy had come to fruition. He was amazing!! Dr. Moise said he looked good and we were hopeful that he would have good counts. They whisked him off to get him ready for the NICU but brought him back by in his isolette so I could touch him before they took him back. He was so beautiful. He looked just like Jay!! It was weird!! He was a little smaller though. He weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz and was 18.5 inches long. But he was also a week earlier than Jay, so probably more or less the same, all things considered.
I was laying there waiting to hear what his counts were from his cord blood and Dr. Moise came to sit with me to keep me company while Dr. Ivey worked on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. He told me that Samuel's counts were only at 37K. I was floored!! I couldn't believe they were that low. I had such an aggressive treatment plan, avoided all invasive procedures and even delivered RIGHT at term instead of at 38 weeks, which was when Dr. Moise had wanted to deliver and STILL my antibodies were THAT strong!! Dr. Moise was pretty shocked, too.
He assured me that Samuel was going to be fine and that they would probably go ahead and start the transfusion of the donor platelets!! At least they didn't have to go to waste!! They also were going to check his brain with the ultrasound just to be safe and make sure he was okay.
At 11:00 last night, they took his counts. The one donation had already raised his counts to a healthy 184K!! His head ultrasound came back clear and all was well!! This morning, he was down to 179K and then tonight, they had come back up on their own to 192K. That is the life cycle of platelets: they die and rejuvinate rather quickly. He's doing so well, they are talking about moving him up to me tomorrow and out of NICU.
He is eating and pooping like a champ!! No more merconium, just straight poop!! That's a really good thing, by the way, because the more they poop, the less likely they are to develop Jaundice. I'm doing okay, too. In a lot of pain, because I had a c-section and my platelets are still low. They went from 102K to 85K post-op, but i know they will start rising on their own.
The overall experience has been really good, and even though Samuel had low counts, it was kind of a blessing because part of me crazily considered the idea of another baby in a few years. But I knew in my heart I needed to stop with two and when I heard that despite all my efforts, Samuel's counts were still very low, it made that decision all that much easier for me. It's nice when the Lord can give you a hint without hurting you too deeply.
The Lord has had me in His palm my whole life and it was obvious to me that He has got some pretty big plans for my two boys as well. Through this whole thing, I have hoped to inspire and motivate people, to give people hope that are dealing with this same terrible disease or who are scared to take a risk. I have hoped that through my blog and through the NAIT advocacy video that I created at One True Media, that I may change the way that this disorder is detected and help to initiate prenatal screening for all pregnant mothers the FIRST time they are pregnant. I don't know if I will actually achieve that goal, but I will continue to be an active voice on my support group, offering condolences, motivation and advice. I will promote the video I've created to honor our littlest survivors and remember our tiniest victims. And i will keep fighting the good fight.
If you'd like to check out the video, I've not made it public yet as we are always adding new babies (my Samuel to be included shortly), and we are working on the Angel Wall and that takes time, but you may see it by logging onto www.onetruemedia.com and entering the following:
username: snekane@hotmail.com
password: nekane02
Click on my home tab and then click on the video NAIT. It is a bit long, about 8 minutes, and I highly suggest you have your sound turned on so you can hear the great music.
Hopefully I will still find time to blog about my adventures of raising two boys in the country!! But don't get too mad if I focus on babies and finding time to sleep. Thanks for reading my sweet, dear friends!! And thank you for your prayers. God was listening. Samuel translates to several things in Hebrew: "God has listened, God has heard, and Asked For."
Samuel was definitely asked for, and God definitely listened.
Jeff and I woke up yesterday, Friday, April 23, 2010 at around 4:45 in the morning to get up and get ready for the Amniocentesis. We left all the bags, partly because I had a feeling that it was going to end up being the day, and if we left the bags, we would definitely end up needing them!! We got Jay up pretty early, and I think he must have had the feeling, too, because Jay is normally such a sound sleeper, but he had gotten himself up at 3 that morning and Jeff had to put him back to bed!! Everyone was on edge!!
I obviously hadn't eaten since the night before and I was STARVING!! We dropped Jay off with Nanny at her church at around 5:45. She was there taking Jenny to seminary so it was right on the way, which was perfect!! Grandma would be picking him up that afernoon since I was planning on laying low after having the amnio done. It was just a regular day for Jay and that was how we would've wanted it. Jay doesn't do stress!!
We got to St. Luke's Labor and Delivery right at 7 like Dr. Ivey had suggested. Dr. Ivey was taking over my OB case because Dr. Vyas, my normal OB had been put on bedrest herself. She was two weeks behind me in her pregnancy and had developed some complications as well. Anyhow, both Dr. Ivey and Dr. Moise were in surgery or other procedures and so we waited for them in the triage. We were supposed to start the Amnio at 8, but had to start at 9 because of them running a little behind schedule, which was fine.
Well, we had to do the amnio right there in the triage because the whole Labor and Delivery floor was completely full with laboring mothers. Oh, those Spring babies!! It wasn't too bad to do it in triage, except it was a little tight. They had me and baby on the monitor, the ultrasound machine, the bed, Dr. Ivey, Dr. Moise, his wife/nurse Karen, my triage nurse Parran and Jeff. It was crazy!! They gave me a little sedative to take the edge off and some medicine to stop contractions and went on with it!! No numbing cream or anything, just a straight needle to the belly!! Honestly, I didn't feel the needle, just the huge cramp in my uterus from the fluid being pulled out. Dr. Moise did the procedure while Karen helped me focus on my breathing to take my mind off of everything. Once the fluid was out, Dr. Moise said he knew it was mature, even without sending it out because it was foamy and he could see the vernix floating. So he sent it off to the lab and Dr. Ivey had to go to a surgery.
I asked Dr. Moise if it were truly mature, would we be able to go ahead and deliver Samuel and he told me it was a possibility, because Andrea, the other NAIT mom, had had to deliver her little boy the day before because she had developed Pre-eclampsia even though she was four weeks earlier than me. They had to get him out. So the donor had already come and donated for her little one, but it turned out that he didn't need any transfusions because he was born with a decent count and was holding out pretty decently. They had dropped, but not low enough to consider a transfusion.
So he had Karen call the NICU at Texas Children's and they said yeah, they had the platelets and they would expire at midnight and the donor was coming to donate again on Saturday so it looked like Andrea's baby wouldn't be using them and they would just go to waste. So then the labs came back and said, yes, Samuel's lungs were fine and so Dr. Moise talked to Dr. Ivey and he came and told us at around 12:30 that we could go ahead and have Samuel if we liked the sound of April 23rd!!
Jeff rushed into high gear calling everyone and of course, it just so happened that my brother and sister-in-law were in California, my Dad was in San Antonio and Jeff's sister is currently at her in-law's beach house and still doesn't know we had the baby!! But family still managed to make it up in time to wish us well and at 2:48, they walked me into the OR to get prepped!!
I had a spinal block and it worked really well, I couldn't feel a thing!! They almost forgot to get Jeff back in the OR in time because when he walked in, I was already open!! At 3:42, Samuel Alan came screaming and crying into the world. He was just beautiful!! I couldn't control my tears!! It was one of the happiest moments of my entire life!! All the pain and agony of this pregnancy had come to fruition. He was amazing!! Dr. Moise said he looked good and we were hopeful that he would have good counts. They whisked him off to get him ready for the NICU but brought him back by in his isolette so I could touch him before they took him back. He was so beautiful. He looked just like Jay!! It was weird!! He was a little smaller though. He weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz and was 18.5 inches long. But he was also a week earlier than Jay, so probably more or less the same, all things considered.
I was laying there waiting to hear what his counts were from his cord blood and Dr. Moise came to sit with me to keep me company while Dr. Ivey worked on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. He told me that Samuel's counts were only at 37K. I was floored!! I couldn't believe they were that low. I had such an aggressive treatment plan, avoided all invasive procedures and even delivered RIGHT at term instead of at 38 weeks, which was when Dr. Moise had wanted to deliver and STILL my antibodies were THAT strong!! Dr. Moise was pretty shocked, too.
He assured me that Samuel was going to be fine and that they would probably go ahead and start the transfusion of the donor platelets!! At least they didn't have to go to waste!! They also were going to check his brain with the ultrasound just to be safe and make sure he was okay.
At 11:00 last night, they took his counts. The one donation had already raised his counts to a healthy 184K!! His head ultrasound came back clear and all was well!! This morning, he was down to 179K and then tonight, they had come back up on their own to 192K. That is the life cycle of platelets: they die and rejuvinate rather quickly. He's doing so well, they are talking about moving him up to me tomorrow and out of NICU.
He is eating and pooping like a champ!! No more merconium, just straight poop!! That's a really good thing, by the way, because the more they poop, the less likely they are to develop Jaundice. I'm doing okay, too. In a lot of pain, because I had a c-section and my platelets are still low. They went from 102K to 85K post-op, but i know they will start rising on their own.
The overall experience has been really good, and even though Samuel had low counts, it was kind of a blessing because part of me crazily considered the idea of another baby in a few years. But I knew in my heart I needed to stop with two and when I heard that despite all my efforts, Samuel's counts were still very low, it made that decision all that much easier for me. It's nice when the Lord can give you a hint without hurting you too deeply.
The Lord has had me in His palm my whole life and it was obvious to me that He has got some pretty big plans for my two boys as well. Through this whole thing, I have hoped to inspire and motivate people, to give people hope that are dealing with this same terrible disease or who are scared to take a risk. I have hoped that through my blog and through the NAIT advocacy video that I created at One True Media, that I may change the way that this disorder is detected and help to initiate prenatal screening for all pregnant mothers the FIRST time they are pregnant. I don't know if I will actually achieve that goal, but I will continue to be an active voice on my support group, offering condolences, motivation and advice. I will promote the video I've created to honor our littlest survivors and remember our tiniest victims. And i will keep fighting the good fight.
If you'd like to check out the video, I've not made it public yet as we are always adding new babies (my Samuel to be included shortly), and we are working on the Angel Wall and that takes time, but you may see it by logging onto www.onetruemedia.com and entering the following:
username: snekane@hotmail.com
password: nekane02
Click on my home tab and then click on the video NAIT. It is a bit long, about 8 minutes, and I highly suggest you have your sound turned on so you can hear the great music.
Hopefully I will still find time to blog about my adventures of raising two boys in the country!! But don't get too mad if I focus on babies and finding time to sleep. Thanks for reading my sweet, dear friends!! And thank you for your prayers. God was listening. Samuel translates to several things in Hebrew: "God has listened, God has heard, and Asked For."
Samuel was definitely asked for, and God definitely listened.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Nine Days Left!!
Can you believe it? Everything is coming down to single digits!! I only have two IVIG treatments left, six days until the amniocentesis and nine days until we meet Samuel, if the amnio shows that his lungs are ready!! So now it's honestly like I'm really holding my breath and just trying to keep it all together.
I got a phone call Wednesday afternoon from Karen, Dr. Moise's wife, telling me I may not be a candidate to donate for Samuel because of my anemia. I knew this might be an issue, so I wasn't too shocked. But then she called me Thursday afternoon and said definitely no, because I had developed Thrombocytopenia myself and my counts were down to 80K. Now THAT was a blow.
How could my counts be so low? I take Ivig and Prednisone!! Dr. Moise doesn't know why and I go back on Monday for another CBC, but I'm not too optimistic about my counts. I blew my nose this morning and got a tissue-full of blood. Not to mention that I've been bleeding a little longer after treatments. So I'm definitely not clotting as fast. But Dr. Moise isn't concerned. He said it could be lots of things.
I had to promise Jeff last night over Mexican food that I would try really hard not to die in the OR. Can you imagine? That would suck!! But unfortunately, these things still happen! That's why I can't imagine why in the Hell anyone would have a baby at hone these days. There's still so much that can go wrong, but that's an entirely different subject.
So now I'm just really nesting. Samuel's room is totally ready. All the clothes are washed and hung, blankets are folded, diapers are washed and prepped for use, and I'm ready to try my hand at breastfeeding again!! My house is so clean, it's stupid, but I wanted to get it all done before this week because now it's going to be easy to maintain between Jeff and me.
The schedule is as follows: dr. appt on Monday, treatment #31 on Tuesday, free day Wednesday, treatment #32 on Thursday, but considering waiting until Saturday or Sunday, amnio on Friday at 8 am, freedom over the weekend (putting up the bassinet and installing carseats) and delivery on Monday, April 26th at 2 pm!! The fact that I have a fully booked itinerary makesme happy! It can't come soon enough!!!!
I got a phone call Wednesday afternoon from Karen, Dr. Moise's wife, telling me I may not be a candidate to donate for Samuel because of my anemia. I knew this might be an issue, so I wasn't too shocked. But then she called me Thursday afternoon and said definitely no, because I had developed Thrombocytopenia myself and my counts were down to 80K. Now THAT was a blow.
How could my counts be so low? I take Ivig and Prednisone!! Dr. Moise doesn't know why and I go back on Monday for another CBC, but I'm not too optimistic about my counts. I blew my nose this morning and got a tissue-full of blood. Not to mention that I've been bleeding a little longer after treatments. So I'm definitely not clotting as fast. But Dr. Moise isn't concerned. He said it could be lots of things.
I had to promise Jeff last night over Mexican food that I would try really hard not to die in the OR. Can you imagine? That would suck!! But unfortunately, these things still happen! That's why I can't imagine why in the Hell anyone would have a baby at hone these days. There's still so much that can go wrong, but that's an entirely different subject.
So now I'm just really nesting. Samuel's room is totally ready. All the clothes are washed and hung, blankets are folded, diapers are washed and prepped for use, and I'm ready to try my hand at breastfeeding again!! My house is so clean, it's stupid, but I wanted to get it all done before this week because now it's going to be easy to maintain between Jeff and me.
The schedule is as follows: dr. appt on Monday, treatment #31 on Tuesday, free day Wednesday, treatment #32 on Thursday, but considering waiting until Saturday or Sunday, amnio on Friday at 8 am, freedom over the weekend (putting up the bassinet and installing carseats) and delivery on Monday, April 26th at 2 pm!! The fact that I have a fully booked itinerary makesme happy! It can't come soon enough!!!!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Our Fun Trip to L&D
So Monday afternoon, I wasn't feeling well at all. I had a lot of nausea and cramps, plus I was having a pretty regular pattern of contractions; some were pretty strong!! I'm only 34.5 weeks along, so it's still a little early to be having a baby!! I had a treatment scheduled for Monday afternoon and Becca lives so far away, so I figured it would be fine. We got going around 4:30, but by around 6:00, I had gotten in bed. (I normally just lay on the couch and watch TV.). I had chills so bad and I felt like I needed to vomit. My temperature was up and Becca and Jeff were both getting worried.
I emailed Dr. Moise and Jeff paged his wife, Karen. Dr. Moise called back within 15 minutes. By this time, I was paying hommage to the Porcelain God. Let's just say if I never taste chicken salad again in my life, it won't be too soon!!
Dr. Moise told Jeff to have Becca stop the Ivig, since that was only making it worse and get me down to St. Luke's. The good thing was I already had my IV in, so Becca just put some Heparin in it. I wouldn't have to worry about getting poked again!!
Pop and Sugar came to watch the house and stay with Jay, who was blissfully unaware that something was amiss. Jeff and I headed out. I had to tell Jeff to pull over because I was going to be sick again. I didn't even care if it was the side of the road. I just wanted a place to puke!! Jeff pulled into Chick-Fil-A and I can only imagine what I looked like to people: big, pregnant, dark circles under my eyes, a sheen of perspiration on my brow, green and an IV hanging out of my arm. They probably thought Jeff was my heroin pusher!! Whatever, I could have cared less. So much thanks to Chick-Fil-A for use of their handicap bathroom!! Big, spacious and clean!! And Jeff got an iced tea while he waited on me!!
So we finally get to St. Luke's around 10ish and they got me up to L&D fast. I just wanted to die!! The chills were killing me and my stomach hurt so bad. The on-call doctor was very nice. I felt sorry for him. I certainly wasn't tons if fun to be around and I'm pretty sure I smelled bad. They got me hooked up to a bag of fluids and Zofran after they took some blood to run a CBC. Thank God I had that IV in!! I started feeling a lot better. They had me hooked up to the monitors. Samuel was perfectly happy! Very active and his heartbeat was very strong!! But the contractions were very regular, coming every 2-4 minutes, however on the strength scale, they were at a maximum of 60/100, so definitely there, but not horrible.
They came to check me and I was still closed and high with no effacement, but they told me the contractions will probably keep coming and over the next few weeks, they'll just get harder and stronger. The whole time I was thinking, "Please don't let me go into labor! I'm not ready yet! I still need to prep diapers and wash clothes!".
The thing is, for as much as I want Samuel here safe in my arms, I want everything to go according to the plan!! It was so chaotic with Jay, I would like something calm in comparison.
Anyways, we got to go home at about 1. Then after I got home, the Gastrointeritis started working it's way out the other end!! So basically, for the past 48 hours, I've been trying to replace all the fluids I've been losing. I think it's finally starting to subside and hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow and Becca and I are planning to do IVIG #28 on Friday!!
So yeah, fun times! You almost HAVE to have one good trip to L&D while pregnant! It's like a right of passage or something!! Hopefully the next time we go to L&D, we WILL be having our baby and not just taking care of a stomach virus!!
I emailed Dr. Moise and Jeff paged his wife, Karen. Dr. Moise called back within 15 minutes. By this time, I was paying hommage to the Porcelain God. Let's just say if I never taste chicken salad again in my life, it won't be too soon!!
Dr. Moise told Jeff to have Becca stop the Ivig, since that was only making it worse and get me down to St. Luke's. The good thing was I already had my IV in, so Becca just put some Heparin in it. I wouldn't have to worry about getting poked again!!
Pop and Sugar came to watch the house and stay with Jay, who was blissfully unaware that something was amiss. Jeff and I headed out. I had to tell Jeff to pull over because I was going to be sick again. I didn't even care if it was the side of the road. I just wanted a place to puke!! Jeff pulled into Chick-Fil-A and I can only imagine what I looked like to people: big, pregnant, dark circles under my eyes, a sheen of perspiration on my brow, green and an IV hanging out of my arm. They probably thought Jeff was my heroin pusher!! Whatever, I could have cared less. So much thanks to Chick-Fil-A for use of their handicap bathroom!! Big, spacious and clean!! And Jeff got an iced tea while he waited on me!!
So we finally get to St. Luke's around 10ish and they got me up to L&D fast. I just wanted to die!! The chills were killing me and my stomach hurt so bad. The on-call doctor was very nice. I felt sorry for him. I certainly wasn't tons if fun to be around and I'm pretty sure I smelled bad. They got me hooked up to a bag of fluids and Zofran after they took some blood to run a CBC. Thank God I had that IV in!! I started feeling a lot better. They had me hooked up to the monitors. Samuel was perfectly happy! Very active and his heartbeat was very strong!! But the contractions were very regular, coming every 2-4 minutes, however on the strength scale, they were at a maximum of 60/100, so definitely there, but not horrible.
They came to check me and I was still closed and high with no effacement, but they told me the contractions will probably keep coming and over the next few weeks, they'll just get harder and stronger. The whole time I was thinking, "Please don't let me go into labor! I'm not ready yet! I still need to prep diapers and wash clothes!".
The thing is, for as much as I want Samuel here safe in my arms, I want everything to go according to the plan!! It was so chaotic with Jay, I would like something calm in comparison.
Anyways, we got to go home at about 1. Then after I got home, the Gastrointeritis started working it's way out the other end!! So basically, for the past 48 hours, I've been trying to replace all the fluids I've been losing. I think it's finally starting to subside and hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow and Becca and I are planning to do IVIG #28 on Friday!!
So yeah, fun times! You almost HAVE to have one good trip to L&D while pregnant! It's like a right of passage or something!! Hopefully the next time we go to L&D, we WILL be having our baby and not just taking care of a stomach virus!!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
How do you do it?
Before I start my blog for the week, I just wanted to say thank for the comments y'all leave me!! I don't comment back, but I do read them and I do appreciate them!! And thanks for the continued love, support and prayers!! They are always welcome and greatly appreciated!!
Jeff donated blood this evening at my school's blood drive. He was so nervous and anxious. His stomach was in knots and he was so freaked out!! Afterwards, he told me that he felt so good mentally knowing he just saved three lives, but he felt like such a weiney because it hurt and he felt out of it. He said, "Gosh babe!! How do you do this?! You get these needles twice a week, getting all that stuff pumped in you and you walk around with a needle in your arm for five or six hours! I could never do that!"
Yes you could. All of you reading this blog could do it. I'm not any stronger or any braver than any other mother or father. It's simply a question of what would you do for your child? Would you take a bullet? Would you walk on glass? Would you have needles shoved up your arm and endure all the nastiness if it kept your baby safe and free from pain? Yes!! You would!!
How do I do it? Everytime Becca, my nurse, shoves the needle in, I just think to myself that I can handle the stinging and burning for a few minutes if it means Samuel can live. I can handle laying on the couch getting the medicine while I watch my shows that I DVR every week.
Honestly, anybody can do it!! Look at your kids!! What would you NOT do for them!! Hell, all of us have been puked on, peed on and pooped on!! Blood products can't be that much worse! I will take an IV over spit up in my mouth any day!!! Haha!!!
33 weeks tomorrow!! Treatment #24 tomorrow!! Only eight more after that!!
The only thing I'm really dreading is when I have to go donate my platelets before delivery. Those are big needles and my veins are horrible now!! But again........what wouldn't I do?!
Jeff donated blood this evening at my school's blood drive. He was so nervous and anxious. His stomach was in knots and he was so freaked out!! Afterwards, he told me that he felt so good mentally knowing he just saved three lives, but he felt like such a weiney because it hurt and he felt out of it. He said, "Gosh babe!! How do you do this?! You get these needles twice a week, getting all that stuff pumped in you and you walk around with a needle in your arm for five or six hours! I could never do that!"
Yes you could. All of you reading this blog could do it. I'm not any stronger or any braver than any other mother or father. It's simply a question of what would you do for your child? Would you take a bullet? Would you walk on glass? Would you have needles shoved up your arm and endure all the nastiness if it kept your baby safe and free from pain? Yes!! You would!!
How do I do it? Everytime Becca, my nurse, shoves the needle in, I just think to myself that I can handle the stinging and burning for a few minutes if it means Samuel can live. I can handle laying on the couch getting the medicine while I watch my shows that I DVR every week.
Honestly, anybody can do it!! Look at your kids!! What would you NOT do for them!! Hell, all of us have been puked on, peed on and pooped on!! Blood products can't be that much worse! I will take an IV over spit up in my mouth any day!!! Haha!!!
33 weeks tomorrow!! Treatment #24 tomorrow!! Only eight more after that!!
The only thing I'm really dreading is when I have to go donate my platelets before delivery. Those are big needles and my veins are horrible now!! But again........what wouldn't I do?!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Is it really going to work? Am I doing everything right?
I'm 31 weeks pregnant. Only six more weeks to go!! I think at this point, I just keep asking myself if this is all going to work out? I wonder what April will bring. Will Samuel be okay? Will he survive? Will I?
It's not that I'm trying to be pessimistic, it's just so hard to let go and not let my mind get the best of me. I start going through the scenarios of women who lost subsequent NAIT pregnancies in the last trimester, and I start wondering if the same thing will happen to me. It's horrible to think about all of that, but difficult to not think about it.
On a brighter note, I am nesting very hard these days!! Spring cleaning has started!! I'm having diaper showers at school and one that my friends are hosting!! I'm very excited! Cleaning and preparing gives me something to focus on instead of worrying about Samuel's counts. This really isn't easy. It's only getting harder for me.
It's not that I'm trying to be pessimistic, it's just so hard to let go and not let my mind get the best of me. I start going through the scenarios of women who lost subsequent NAIT pregnancies in the last trimester, and I start wondering if the same thing will happen to me. It's horrible to think about all of that, but difficult to not think about it.
On a brighter note, I am nesting very hard these days!! Spring cleaning has started!! I'm having diaper showers at school and one that my friends are hosting!! I'm very excited! Cleaning and preparing gives me something to focus on instead of worrying about Samuel's counts. This really isn't easy. It's only getting harder for me.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
30 Weeks and Counting....So How Does It Feel?
So, the last trimester. Most mothers-to-be feel a sense of relief that the end is near. They feel pretty sure that everything is going to be fine. How does it feel when you have an NAIT baby? Terrifying. I wish I could feel the way most mothers do, but I can't. Every morning, I wake up and feel for Samuel and wait for him to kick me so that I know he's alive and okay. Every movement, every flutter, I am reassured.
I start Prednisone in two more weeks. Yet another way to try to suppress my immune system. It's so weird. I want nothing more than my baby to be healthy and whole, yet my body views him as an enemy and is trying to hurt him. To kill him. It's just so stupidly unfair that your body can do something so terrible!!
Don't get me wrong though. I know that I am so blessed and so lucky to be able to have modern medicine to be able to even experience having another child. I know that even when things feel terrible, life could always be worse. So I DO count my blessings.
I think what really sucks is how alone you feel when you have a condition that is so rare. If I didn't have my girls on the support board at Yahoo, I don't think I wouldve had the courage to pursue another baby. But in day to day life, it is very lonesome. Nobody really understands any if it, and how could they?
I had the experience of meeting another mother in real life who is also in her second NAIT pregnancy. She's being treated by Dr. Moise as well!! It was very refreshing to meet someone who knows exactly what you're going through. Our doctor says this is one of the most devastating diseases. It's nice to know I'm not the only one walking around under that kind of stress.
But it does suck. And the seven weeks until delivery seem interminable and I pray that we make it that much longer.....that my luck doesn't run out. Every day is a test of my faith and every day the Lord keeps us safe. So for all you mommies out there, hug your babies tight. Know that your kids are such blessings and such miracles. Never take them for granted. I look at my Jay and know that things couldve been very different and I pray that Samuel can continue to fight and stay strong. Love your babies. They are so, so precious.
I start Prednisone in two more weeks. Yet another way to try to suppress my immune system. It's so weird. I want nothing more than my baby to be healthy and whole, yet my body views him as an enemy and is trying to hurt him. To kill him. It's just so stupidly unfair that your body can do something so terrible!!
Don't get me wrong though. I know that I am so blessed and so lucky to be able to have modern medicine to be able to even experience having another child. I know that even when things feel terrible, life could always be worse. So I DO count my blessings.
I think what really sucks is how alone you feel when you have a condition that is so rare. If I didn't have my girls on the support board at Yahoo, I don't think I wouldve had the courage to pursue another baby. But in day to day life, it is very lonesome. Nobody really understands any if it, and how could they?
I had the experience of meeting another mother in real life who is also in her second NAIT pregnancy. She's being treated by Dr. Moise as well!! It was very refreshing to meet someone who knows exactly what you're going through. Our doctor says this is one of the most devastating diseases. It's nice to know I'm not the only one walking around under that kind of stress.
But it does suck. And the seven weeks until delivery seem interminable and I pray that we make it that much longer.....that my luck doesn't run out. Every day is a test of my faith and every day the Lord keeps us safe. So for all you mommies out there, hug your babies tight. Know that your kids are such blessings and such miracles. Never take them for granted. I look at my Jay and know that things couldve been very different and I pray that Samuel can continue to fight and stay strong. Love your babies. They are so, so precious.
Friday, February 12, 2010
27 Weeks.......Where does time go?!
I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted!! My iPhone is still the only way I can do my blog because I still don't have Internet at home. Geesh!!
Anyways, I am one week away from my last trimester and doing treatment #12 tonight!! Crazy, huh? Aside from my arms looking like I've been shoving nails up them and the long six hours that each infusion takes, I am doing great!! Samuel seems to be doing okay so far, too!! When I get my IVIG, I definitely think he's getting it as well because he gets VERY active. That always makes me feel better because Im thinking that it is helping to keep his counts up. Of course, there is no real way of knowing, without doing a PUBS of course, but I can only pray that all of this sacrifice is keeping him healthy. By the way, PUBS stands for Percutaneous Umbilical Blood Sampling and is done around 32 weeks. The doctors insert a needle into the baby's cord to get a blood sample and transfuse platelets if necessary. There is a lot of risk with the procedure. We are choosing to not do it.
In other news, I get to start Prednisone soon to further attempt to supress my immune system so it won't attack my sweet Samuel. I will probably turn into a psycho hose beast even more so than now, so I will go ahead and apologize in advance for any rude or snarky comments I make. It's just Roid Rage!! Haha!!
I'm also very Anemic now and have to start a daily regimen of iron. Yay!! Very common in pregnancy and also explains my complete lack of energy. But I DID pass my one hour Glucose test so no Gestational Diabetes!! Yay!!
Delivery is scheduled to occur around 37-38 weeks as long as we are both doing okay!! Please keep Samuel in your prayers!! Don't worry about me: I'm a tough cookie and I can handle the other stuff. Just pray for Samuel.....and all the other NAIT mommies carrying our littlest fighters!!!
Anyways, I am one week away from my last trimester and doing treatment #12 tonight!! Crazy, huh? Aside from my arms looking like I've been shoving nails up them and the long six hours that each infusion takes, I am doing great!! Samuel seems to be doing okay so far, too!! When I get my IVIG, I definitely think he's getting it as well because he gets VERY active. That always makes me feel better because Im thinking that it is helping to keep his counts up. Of course, there is no real way of knowing, without doing a PUBS of course, but I can only pray that all of this sacrifice is keeping him healthy. By the way, PUBS stands for Percutaneous Umbilical Blood Sampling and is done around 32 weeks. The doctors insert a needle into the baby's cord to get a blood sample and transfuse platelets if necessary. There is a lot of risk with the procedure. We are choosing to not do it.
In other news, I get to start Prednisone soon to further attempt to supress my immune system so it won't attack my sweet Samuel. I will probably turn into a psycho hose beast even more so than now, so I will go ahead and apologize in advance for any rude or snarky comments I make. It's just Roid Rage!! Haha!!
I'm also very Anemic now and have to start a daily regimen of iron. Yay!! Very common in pregnancy and also explains my complete lack of energy. But I DID pass my one hour Glucose test so no Gestational Diabetes!! Yay!!
Delivery is scheduled to occur around 37-38 weeks as long as we are both doing okay!! Please keep Samuel in your prayers!! Don't worry about me: I'm a tough cookie and I can handle the other stuff. Just pray for Samuel.....and all the other NAIT mommies carrying our littlest fighters!!!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Round Two: Total Knock Out!!
So I thought I was Billy Badass when I got finished with my first treatment only to be dealt the hand of The Great Equalizer: Treatment #2. Seriously, that was AWFUL!! It wasn't all that bad while I was getting it, although towards the last hour, my arm started burning so bad, the nurse brought me a post partum maxi pad ice pack to lay my arm on. Turned out to be the perfect length!! Ha!
I got discharged from St. Luke's at around 5:30 and I was very crabby. Jeff stopped and got me an ice cream to help bring up my blood sugar, but I could already feel the throbbing behind my eyes and I couldn't take Tylenol until 10:00. My in-laws were so sweet to cook us a big supper, but when we got home, the headache was full on. Y'all, I can't even express how bad my head hurt. I've had Migraines before. This was like a Migraine on CRACK COCAINE!! It made me so dizzy, I could hardly get up, it made everything blurry and shake back and forth, and I was so nauseated. Then came the chills and the fever. I honestly thought I was going to die!!!
The next morning, after being in bed since 9:45 and hardly sleeping, I called my doctor. He and his wife called me several times throughout the day to check on me and baby. They are wonderful people. I finally joined the land of the living at around 5 Sunday evening, but my headache didn't fully subside until Monday morning.
According to the one of the nurses at IGG America, my home healthcare provider, the fact that I had so much IVIG in such a short span and I only got sick for about a day (especially since they were infused so fast), she told me that was really impressive!! So I guess I really did tolerate it okay, considering the amount.
Unfortunately, it was right back to work that Monday. So I never really recouped the time lost. But it was nice to go back and see my friends at work.
People have started to ask me if we will go for the girl next time or if we are having another baby after this. You know, up until I started my treatments, I would have considered a third, and not because I want a girl, but because I love babies. Honestly, I was rather relieved to find out I was having another boy. But people don't really understand what me (and Jeff) are having to go through.
NAIT has been the monkey on my back for almost three years now. And if I can walk away in April with a healthy baby boy and my own health in tact, then I NEVER want to do this again. It's something Ive had to think about everyday and to be able to just close that chapter of my life, while bittersweet because my reproductive days will be over, it will be a relief. Going through a second pregnancy has been the most emotionally trying experience I have really had to face. Not knowing the outcome is so hard on me. So no. We are not going for the girl or having a third baby. Hopefully, God will bless me with a sweet, healthy boy at the end of this long journey. And that is all I can really ask for. I will honestly have everything in the world that I ever really wanted. It will be enough.
I got discharged from St. Luke's at around 5:30 and I was very crabby. Jeff stopped and got me an ice cream to help bring up my blood sugar, but I could already feel the throbbing behind my eyes and I couldn't take Tylenol until 10:00. My in-laws were so sweet to cook us a big supper, but when we got home, the headache was full on. Y'all, I can't even express how bad my head hurt. I've had Migraines before. This was like a Migraine on CRACK COCAINE!! It made me so dizzy, I could hardly get up, it made everything blurry and shake back and forth, and I was so nauseated. Then came the chills and the fever. I honestly thought I was going to die!!!
The next morning, after being in bed since 9:45 and hardly sleeping, I called my doctor. He and his wife called me several times throughout the day to check on me and baby. They are wonderful people. I finally joined the land of the living at around 5 Sunday evening, but my headache didn't fully subside until Monday morning.
According to the one of the nurses at IGG America, my home healthcare provider, the fact that I had so much IVIG in such a short span and I only got sick for about a day (especially since they were infused so fast), she told me that was really impressive!! So I guess I really did tolerate it okay, considering the amount.
Unfortunately, it was right back to work that Monday. So I never really recouped the time lost. But it was nice to go back and see my friends at work.
People have started to ask me if we will go for the girl next time or if we are having another baby after this. You know, up until I started my treatments, I would have considered a third, and not because I want a girl, but because I love babies. Honestly, I was rather relieved to find out I was having another boy. But people don't really understand what me (and Jeff) are having to go through.
NAIT has been the monkey on my back for almost three years now. And if I can walk away in April with a healthy baby boy and my own health in tact, then I NEVER want to do this again. It's something Ive had to think about everyday and to be able to just close that chapter of my life, while bittersweet because my reproductive days will be over, it will be a relief. Going through a second pregnancy has been the most emotionally trying experience I have really had to face. Not knowing the outcome is so hard on me. So no. We are not going for the girl or having a third baby. Hopefully, God will bless me with a sweet, healthy boy at the end of this long journey. And that is all I can really ask for. I will honestly have everything in the world that I ever really wanted. It will be enough.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Let's Get This Party Started!!
So I got to ring in my New Year 2010 with my very first IVIG treatment!! WOOHOO!! I got served a whopping 80 grams today!! WOW!!! I get to do it again tomorrow!! So excited, let me tell you!!
Nah, truth be known, it wasn't that bad. If you don't mind chilling out with an IV in your hand (which is still in there, since I have to do it all again tomorrow.) It all went relativey smoothly. It helped that I had a nice dose of Bendadryl before they started me and that made me pretty foggy and out of it, so I slept for about two hours. They started me at 11 am and I woke up at around 1:30 and was amazed at where the time had gone. Gotta love Benadryl!!
The only major side effect at the beginning was low blood pressure (90/35) and that made me feel REALLY weird. My breathing was all shallow and I felt whoozy, but it came back up fairly quickly.
I also bashed my elbow on the handicap rail in the bathroom so hard, the bottom half of my arm and fingers went numb for about 10 minutes (I incidentally had bashed that same elbow the night before when I almost fell down the stairs.) Nice. Then I stubbed my toe on my IV pump not once, but TWICE when I braved going to the bathroom with no assistance. Aside from my clumsiness, it was all good. Although I'm really over being in the hospital. I'm laying here in the most uncomfortable bed man has created and wishing I was in my bed tonight, with my sweet husband snoring lightly beside me. :)
We also got to see the baby again today, still doing wonderful and looking good so far!! He is definitely still a boy!!
Guess I'll take my vitamins, wash my face, get on my jammies and curl up with Twilight for a little bit before I check out for the evening!! Night night!! Wish me luck and pray I don't get the dreaded headaches from this stuff!!
Nah, truth be known, it wasn't that bad. If you don't mind chilling out with an IV in your hand (which is still in there, since I have to do it all again tomorrow.) It all went relativey smoothly. It helped that I had a nice dose of Bendadryl before they started me and that made me pretty foggy and out of it, so I slept for about two hours. They started me at 11 am and I woke up at around 1:30 and was amazed at where the time had gone. Gotta love Benadryl!!
The only major side effect at the beginning was low blood pressure (90/35) and that made me feel REALLY weird. My breathing was all shallow and I felt whoozy, but it came back up fairly quickly.
I also bashed my elbow on the handicap rail in the bathroom so hard, the bottom half of my arm and fingers went numb for about 10 minutes (I incidentally had bashed that same elbow the night before when I almost fell down the stairs.) Nice. Then I stubbed my toe on my IV pump not once, but TWICE when I braved going to the bathroom with no assistance. Aside from my clumsiness, it was all good. Although I'm really over being in the hospital. I'm laying here in the most uncomfortable bed man has created and wishing I was in my bed tonight, with my sweet husband snoring lightly beside me. :)
We also got to see the baby again today, still doing wonderful and looking good so far!! He is definitely still a boy!!
Guess I'll take my vitamins, wash my face, get on my jammies and curl up with Twilight for a little bit before I check out for the evening!! Night night!! Wish me luck and pray I don't get the dreaded headaches from this stuff!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
