Friday, May 18, 2012

Fight Like Hell

Very recently, a Dear Friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is in her early 40's, married to a wonderful man, and has four children ranging from the ages of 6 to 18. She is busy, she is a writer, a mom, a teacher, and a dear, dear friend. Everything she does is GOOD. Everything. She and her husband have taken on many things in their lives that others would deem to be just too challenging. My friend has a heart that is so big, so loving. Why her? Why does someone good have to be given such a low blow when she has already had to climb many, many mountains and trudge through very deep valleys? Right now, she's in that point where she's mad as Hell. And who can blame her? A diagnosis of Cancer!! With such a beautiful family!! And the unanswered questions.....what will this do to her? To her family? To their finances? To her precious life? But the mad is good. You have to be mad as Hell in order to FIGHT LIKE HELL!!! If you've ever been given news that threatens life, there is no other way to explain how you feel. It's like the stages of grief. You go through Shock and Denial: NO!! This isn't possible!! NOT ME!! WHY ME?!!!! Then you go through Pain and Guilt: How will this affect my family? Why didn't I do more? Say more? How selfish I was! I didn't appreciate everything enough! Then comes Anger and Bargaining: you're mad as hell........THIS ISN'T FAIR!!! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!! Please, God!! If you take this away, if you make me normal, I promise to.......... Then comes the Lonesliness, the Depression and the Reflection period: nobody gets this. Well maybe they do, but I don't know who has really been through this. Even if they went through this, it's not the same. I feel so alone. I feel so weird. The good news is, after the depression goes away, you start going through the Upward Turn. You feel like maybe you can face this. You start planning and reconstructing your mind and your life. You get your plan in place for treating whatever is threatening the life at stake and you push forward. And then you start to Accept what's been dealt to you. You have Hope. Usually the hope comes through connecting with others who have or are currently going through what you are. And you fight for yourself and you fight for others!! You root for them!! You pray for the ones that are still too angry to pray!!!! And somehow you come through the other side. The other side......it seems so far away when you are stuck in the first few stages. You feel like you will never get there. But when you do, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....what a feeling. It's a neat place to be. For one thing, you beat whatever was plaguing you. And you can be an enormous amount of comfort to someone beginning their journey, whether it's the same as yours or something you can relate to. I truly believe God gives us what we can handle. Doesn't mean we don't get upset with Him for thinking we can handle so much. It's a bit of a backhanded compliment. 'You're strong! Here you go!' But man, when you DO make it through to the flip side, it's pretty empowering. It's pretty amazing. You sit there and think, 'Wow, I did that! I beat that! We beat that!' So right now, Dear Sweet Friend of mine......you're mad as Hell.......that's good......means you're gonna fight like Hell, too....... You're too angry to pray. So I'm there praying for you. I love you. God loves you. And so do many others. We'll ALL keep up the prayer for you.