A Curse....or a Blessing in Disguise?

As women, we have all had that moment in our lives, probably back in our single or newly married days, when children were mearly a glimmer in our eye,just a thought, a hope and a future dream. You are sitting in a bar or a nightclub with your girlfriends or your significant other when you spot it.......that very obviously pregnant woman, chain-smoking cigarettes and guzzling a beer. And even though you may be nowhere close to being a mother yet, the thought goes through your head, 'What in the HELL is that woman thinking?'

Yes, those women. The ones that don't even realize the fragility of the life that they carry inside of them. The ones that even though their babies "may" be born "healthy" upon appearance, may grow up to have all sorts of issues simply because they couldn't abstain for nine measly months while they participated in one of God's most miraculous events. Wow.

My husband and I were engaged and we were at a local festival with his family, including his sister and her daughter, who, at the time, was about three months old. My sister-in-law was an avid breastfeeder, she was carrying the baby in a sling, and just being a wonderful mother.

We then saw a baby that was roughly the same age, haphazardly laying in a dingy, little umbrella stroller, with no neck control at all, the poor baby looked like a rag doll. My husband said, "Oh my gosh!! Look at that baby!! He can't be older than two months!! Won't that damage the poor kid?" A passerby heard us commenting on the baby, and not missing a beat, said, "Nah....Don't you know? Those kinds of babies bounce?" It was hysterical!! But sadly, it was true. It seems that babies are definitely given to different mothers, and those poor little ones have to pretty tough and tenacious to get through every day.

Those poor babies whose mothers don't care one lick about what they do to them, whether in the womb or out of the womb, don't realize the blessings they have in their possesion, and just how lucky they are to be able to reproduce so easily.

So that brings me to us.......yes, all of us mothers who are in some way, shape or form high risk. Those of us that struggle to have our families. Whether you struggle with infertility, multiple miscarriages, blood disorders, or whatever has been thrown at you, we are in that high risk category. And it sucks. Or does it?

I mean, yes, obviously, it does. And none of us would wish any of our problems on our worst enemy because we know how awful whatever our diagnosis is to deal with when so many women have it so easy.

However, if we look at it as a mixed blessing, we realize that while our high risk diagnosis does indeed stink, we are so fortunate to look at our kids and realize that they are little miracles and the fact that we are able to get them here whole and healthy is such a blessing. And even though, as mothers, we have moments when we want to pull our hair out with worry, at least we know that we have something precious to worry about.

And THAT is definitely NOT a curse at all.

So many blessings to be thankful for....

I've been thinking all day about what all I am thankful for and how much life can change in the course of one year.

A year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was just over 16 weeks pregnant with Samuel, but of course, I didn't even know if I was having a boy or a girl. Was it a Samuel or an Eleanore? (That was our name for a little girl, by the way.)

And now I am the mother of two amazing little boys and wife to an amazing guy. What blessings!!

This year, we donated money to the Star of Hope in Houston. We got our receipt in the mail along with a pamphlet about the missions we are supporting. I cried like a baby when I read all the stories and saw different pictures. Like I was pregnant or something!!

This time of year brings out the sentimental part of me (Yes, I am very emotional, like you can't tell from my posts.) But this time REALLY does more than other times, I guess because of the types of kids that I teach and the stuff I see on a day to day basis. It makes me realize that I am simply blessed because of good choices and fate, I suppose.

Anyways, I'm rambling on and on, but really. I am just so dang thankful that I have all that I have, and I remember, daily, as I am rocking Samuel or snuggling with Jay or locking the doors of our wonderful home that life could always be very different and that we can't take our blessings for granted.

I hope everyone that reads this is also celebrating a happy Thanksgiving and feels as blessed and fulfilled as myself. Peace and love to you all!!!!