Why Lemonade Mama?

Because in this life we lead, sometimes things don't turn out quite like we expect. Sometimes God gives us lemons, my friends; and we must make lemonade. Since this is my very first post, I should tell you just a little bit as to how I came to this philosophy. See, for the better half of my life, I got along pretty well. Things always had a way of falling into place. I came from a loving home, got good grades, went to a good college, married my soulmate, etc. Life was pretty perfect and I always expected it to be that way!!!

Then in December of 2006, I got pregnant with my first child. It wasn't exactly perfect timing. My husband and I had just moved and we were living in a much smaller home with most of our stuff still in storage. My husband was starting his own business and we were pretty much existing on my teaching salary, which wasn't much. But we were so excited, none the less.

The following April, we learned that we were expecting a little boy and we were overjoyed!!! Preparations were underway and the whole family was on the edge of their seats waiting for the arrival of the first grandson and nephew!!

In the early morning hours of August 15, 2007, I began having very painful contractions. They kept me from being able to breathe, so I had my husband drive me to the hospital. They admitted me and said they would go ahead and induce me since I was 38 weeks and obviously in a lot of discomfort. At 6:30 that morning, they started the Pitocin and nothing happened!! Twelve hours later, there was still no sign of baby and my doctor was ready to make it happen so we decided on a c-section. Not my ideal way to deliver!! This wasn't how it was supposed to go, but after 16 hours of contractions and no progress, I was over it!!

They had to put me under because my epidural left one of my sides with feeling and so they had no choice unless I wanted to feel the whole
thing (no thanks!). My son Jay came into this world at 6:38 pm!! I awoke to my hubby's face telling me he was beautiful, a little splotchy, but
beautiful!! They brought him to me that night to feed and he was gorgeous!! I had no idea my life was about to be flipped, that the other shoe was about to drop.


At about 2 am, doctors came to tell us that my son needed platelet transfusions because he was dangerously low and could begin hemmorhaging at any moment. I was still so drugged up, I barely had time to register what was happening. They transfused him, but his levels barely rose. They transfused again. The counts did nothing. Even with two doses of a drug called IVIG, his counts would not rise. It felt like an ice cold knife in my heart when they told me his counts weren't getting better. To make matters worse, he was in the NICU and for the first day after he was born, I couldn't hold him or nurse him. I already felt left out of his birth, and then to be told that I couldn't hold my baby boy.

Jeff and I tried to keep a brave face on and smile through it all. Our one shining light was that a head ultrasound of Jay's head showed no signs of a bleed in his brain. The doctors could give us no concrete answer as to why this happened. It would be a question that would haunt me for the next 18 months. A monster I did not have a name for quite yet.

Finally, they transfused Jay with Apheresis platelets, which means they were washed and were very plain so that his body wouldn't continue to reject them. My boy, born with a count if 8,000 platelets (when a normal range is 150,000 - 400,000) finally achieved a count of 116,000!! I cried tears of joy!! We got to take our boy home on August 19, 2007. But despite our joy, we had a feeling we weren't out of the woods yet. And this thing, this "fluke" wasn't just a fluke after all.