To be or not to be? That was the question!!

Well, if you're reading this, then you know that we DID decide to try for another child. But coming to that decision and following through with it was not an easy one.

NAIT is such a rare condition and it IS life threatening to the baby if not treated OR if treatments don't work. And yes, there are plenty of women out there whose children did not make it despite it all. But the outcomes are pretty good if you do follow a good protocol. About 95% success, which is about the same as a "normal" pregnancy.

Another thing to take into consideration is that the treatment plan is pretty grueling. Just google IVIG and Prednisone and read all the side effects. They are major medicines and IVIG is made from over 1,000 blood donors' plasma!! Not to mention that the treatments take about 6-8 hours to get and I have to get them twice a week from 20 weeks until delivery. It is also very expensive - about $30,000 per treatment when given in the hospital and about $6,000 when done at home. (Thank God for insurance!!)

But Jeff and I decided that we really wanted another child and that we would allow God to make that call for us. On September 4, 2009, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!!! We were overjoyed!! Of course, my next sentiment was fear. And that is an emotion I grapple with on a daily basis.

I think up until this point, Jeff and I have both been able to ignore the NAIT. Jeff obviously more than me. As any mother knows, dads tend to be less connected during the pregnancy, and with good reason. They aren't constantly reminded of the living child growing inside of them. And obviously I have read a lot more about this condition and know many stories where there were horrible outcomes. (I belong to an online support group for moms like me.). I have also read and cheered on many mothers before me that have gone through it all and had healthy babies at the end.

Right now I am 20 weeks pregnant and my first round of treatments are set up for this Saturday and Sunday down at the Medical Center. Hopefully I tolerate them well and will get to start my home treatments next Wednesday.

We know that we are having another little boy and we are thrilled!!! It was wonderful to see the ultrasound last Monday and know that for now, his little head is okay. I will never stop worrying. I think it's near impossible. It's a mom thing I guess!! Some days I am totally okay. Other days I'm good enough. But everytime I feel my little one move in my tummy, I'm perfect. I just gotta make it to April!!

I will be writing again on Saturday to fill you in with how my first round of IVIG goes!!! At least I will know that I am doing as much as I can to help my son. That is something good to take from it all!! I don't mind the needles, the time or the nasty side effects. If it gets this baby here and keeps him from going through what Jay did, then I will do it. I'll walk through fire.