The video that I have worked on since I found out I was pregnant with Samuel, and yes, he is in there, too!! Please watch this, post it on your Facebook, your Twitter, WHATEVER!! Please help us spread the word!! WE MUST STOP NAIT!!!!!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
This Time A Year Ago.....
This time a year ago, I had gone to the doctor with Jeff to find out what the sex of our baby was and whether he was healthy thus far.
This time a year ago, I found out that I would be the mother of another beautiful boy.
This time a year ago, I saw a beautifully shaped little guy with very healthy insides. This time a year ago, I faced the unknown of twice weekly treatments, scary steroids and the fear that none of it would work.
This time a year ago, I ordered stockings for "Mommy" and "Daddy" to join our stocking we had for "Jay." This time a year ago, I longed for that fourth stocking that would read "Samuel."
And how quickly the year has passed.
So much has happened since this time a year ago.
My body has completely healed from the brutal Hell of treatments. I really am in the best shape of my life (a vow I made to myself after what all I put myself through.)
Jay is such an amazing child, talking in complex and crazy sentences, trying to read already!
Samuel is a beautiful, 8 month old little wonder, busy trying to crawl, laughing at everything and the absolute joy of my life.
And my mantle is complete with that fourth stocking, that reads "Samuel."
I don't know what next year will bring, but what I do know, is that I have all my boys home for Christmas. What a blessing a year can be!!
This time a year ago, I found out that I would be the mother of another beautiful boy.
This time a year ago, I saw a beautifully shaped little guy with very healthy insides. This time a year ago, I faced the unknown of twice weekly treatments, scary steroids and the fear that none of it would work.
This time a year ago, I ordered stockings for "Mommy" and "Daddy" to join our stocking we had for "Jay." This time a year ago, I longed for that fourth stocking that would read "Samuel."
And how quickly the year has passed.
So much has happened since this time a year ago.
My body has completely healed from the brutal Hell of treatments. I really am in the best shape of my life (a vow I made to myself after what all I put myself through.)
Jay is such an amazing child, talking in complex and crazy sentences, trying to read already!
Samuel is a beautiful, 8 month old little wonder, busy trying to crawl, laughing at everything and the absolute joy of my life.
And my mantle is complete with that fourth stocking, that reads "Samuel."
I don't know what next year will bring, but what I do know, is that I have all my boys home for Christmas. What a blessing a year can be!!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Driving...By Yourself.....with Two Kids.....from South Texas.....
So changing my melancholy reflections to funnier thoughts.....
Last week, after everyone left our house on Thanksgiving, Jeff and I loaded up our boys and drove down to South Texas to his aunt and uncle's ranch. When we left our house, it was a balmy eighty degrees. After the four hour drive, it was a windy, chilly low fourty-something degrees and drizzling!!
Everyone was at the ranch for deer hunting and hanging out. It turns out that small children don't do very well in the cold and with lots of people. By the following afternoon, Samuel was very cranky and acting like he was getting sick (he just got over an Upper Respiratory Infection the week before.) So I told Jeff he could catch a ride back with his mom and dad the next day, but that I had two capable hands, the Thomas the Train and Friends DVD, a Navigation system and carseats, so we were going to roll. That was at 2:45, when it was very sunny and seemed like a good idea.
Within an hour of driving, my back was aching and Thomas was rolling for the second time. It started to not feel like such a good idea!! I had to pee within only twenty minutes of leaving, Jay was in his regular underwear, but I was determined we were NOT going to stop unless Jay couldn't stand it anymore. My bladder aint what she used to be, especially after an appendectomy and two c-sections, but I can be extremely bull-headed.
We had been on the road for about two hours when Jay finally told me he needed to pee. I had two choices: just pull over on the side of 77 and let him do his business (we were in the middle of nowhere), or try to get to a town and go in a gas station or something like that. I chose just to pull over and let him go in the grass. The way I saw it, I was by myself with two kids that weigh over 20 lbs a piece and no stroller, and again - BY MYSELF. After Jay did his business, I got him buckled back in. Samuel was still smiling and happy. I looked at him with such pity and said, "Oh Buddy, you're happy now. You'll hate me in about an hour."
By the time we made it to Halletsville, it was getting dark. We'd been on the road for roughly three hours. I still had to pee like no man's business, but at that point, my bladder was so full, I was pretty much numb to all feeling, my blood pressure was at the boiling point and I was racing against the sun. Samuel started his first of about five meltdowns.
He had a bottle before we had left the ranch and had been changed right before we left, but at that point, who KNEW what had began to brew in his pants and the poor kid was probably hungry. Thomas was on about his fifth round of being on the DVD player - seriously, best damn invention for a parent's car. Yeah, yeah - to all of you that aren't parents yet - I said it, too. "I'll NEVER let my kids watch TV in the car." Famous last words. Never say never, okay? Oh, and after you have one kid, you realize a little TV, sugar, chicken nuggets, McDonald's, etc. WON'T kill them. Hell, we all turned out okay. But then again, that's not saying much.
Anyhow, the navigation system had me staying on 77 pretty much the entire trip. So when I got to Schulenburg, i made the executive decision to get on I-10 and start busting it out to get us HOME!! I was beginning to feel delirious. George Carlin is the narrator for Thomas and Friends and I was VERY over listening to him narrate about how Thomas was stuck, and he was ANGRY. George Carlin is much better as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Samuel was on about Meltdown #10 when I unlocked the gate. Our neighbors, Tony and Nancy, were at my house, feeding my dogs and checking on things when we drove up. Jay never had a meltdown....until we got home. Thankfully, T-Man and Nancy helped me get the boys inside. Poor Samuel had the biggest poop in his pants, but when he realized that I wasn't the meanest woman in the world and had simply been driving him back home to his cozy, warm house, he looked at me like, 'Okay, Mom. If you just get this huge mess out of my pants, give me some food, draw me a nice hot bath and put me in my bed; you and me are square.'
Driving by yourself for a long distance with multiple children is definitely not fun. I wouldn't recommend it as a recreational activity. However, as I go through my days of parenting young children, I realize I am pretty tough, I can handle a lot, and that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Suffice it to say, both boys slept in (very atypical,) and I was oh so happy to sleep in my nice, warm bed after a hot shower as well. AND I refuse to watch Thomas and Friends for a good while, at the very least.
Last week, after everyone left our house on Thanksgiving, Jeff and I loaded up our boys and drove down to South Texas to his aunt and uncle's ranch. When we left our house, it was a balmy eighty degrees. After the four hour drive, it was a windy, chilly low fourty-something degrees and drizzling!!
Everyone was at the ranch for deer hunting and hanging out. It turns out that small children don't do very well in the cold and with lots of people. By the following afternoon, Samuel was very cranky and acting like he was getting sick (he just got over an Upper Respiratory Infection the week before.) So I told Jeff he could catch a ride back with his mom and dad the next day, but that I had two capable hands, the Thomas the Train and Friends DVD, a Navigation system and carseats, so we were going to roll. That was at 2:45, when it was very sunny and seemed like a good idea.
Within an hour of driving, my back was aching and Thomas was rolling for the second time. It started to not feel like such a good idea!! I had to pee within only twenty minutes of leaving, Jay was in his regular underwear, but I was determined we were NOT going to stop unless Jay couldn't stand it anymore. My bladder aint what she used to be, especially after an appendectomy and two c-sections, but I can be extremely bull-headed.
We had been on the road for about two hours when Jay finally told me he needed to pee. I had two choices: just pull over on the side of 77 and let him do his business (we were in the middle of nowhere), or try to get to a town and go in a gas station or something like that. I chose just to pull over and let him go in the grass. The way I saw it, I was by myself with two kids that weigh over 20 lbs a piece and no stroller, and again - BY MYSELF. After Jay did his business, I got him buckled back in. Samuel was still smiling and happy. I looked at him with such pity and said, "Oh Buddy, you're happy now. You'll hate me in about an hour."
By the time we made it to Halletsville, it was getting dark. We'd been on the road for roughly three hours. I still had to pee like no man's business, but at that point, my bladder was so full, I was pretty much numb to all feeling, my blood pressure was at the boiling point and I was racing against the sun. Samuel started his first of about five meltdowns.
He had a bottle before we had left the ranch and had been changed right before we left, but at that point, who KNEW what had began to brew in his pants and the poor kid was probably hungry. Thomas was on about his fifth round of being on the DVD player - seriously, best damn invention for a parent's car. Yeah, yeah - to all of you that aren't parents yet - I said it, too. "I'll NEVER let my kids watch TV in the car." Famous last words. Never say never, okay? Oh, and after you have one kid, you realize a little TV, sugar, chicken nuggets, McDonald's, etc. WON'T kill them. Hell, we all turned out okay. But then again, that's not saying much.
Anyhow, the navigation system had me staying on 77 pretty much the entire trip. So when I got to Schulenburg, i made the executive decision to get on I-10 and start busting it out to get us HOME!! I was beginning to feel delirious. George Carlin is the narrator for Thomas and Friends and I was VERY over listening to him narrate about how Thomas was stuck, and he was ANGRY. George Carlin is much better as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Samuel was on about Meltdown #10 when I unlocked the gate. Our neighbors, Tony and Nancy, were at my house, feeding my dogs and checking on things when we drove up. Jay never had a meltdown....until we got home. Thankfully, T-Man and Nancy helped me get the boys inside. Poor Samuel had the biggest poop in his pants, but when he realized that I wasn't the meanest woman in the world and had simply been driving him back home to his cozy, warm house, he looked at me like, 'Okay, Mom. If you just get this huge mess out of my pants, give me some food, draw me a nice hot bath and put me in my bed; you and me are square.'
Driving by yourself for a long distance with multiple children is definitely not fun. I wouldn't recommend it as a recreational activity. However, as I go through my days of parenting young children, I realize I am pretty tough, I can handle a lot, and that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Suffice it to say, both boys slept in (very atypical,) and I was oh so happy to sleep in my nice, warm bed after a hot shower as well. AND I refuse to watch Thomas and Friends for a good while, at the very least.
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Curse....or a Blessing in Disguise?
As women, we have all had that moment in our lives, probably back in our single or newly married days, when children were mearly a glimmer in our eye,just a thought, a hope and a future dream. You are sitting in a bar or a nightclub with your girlfriends or your significant other when you spot it.......that very obviously pregnant woman, chain-smoking cigarettes and guzzling a beer. And even though you may be nowhere close to being a mother yet, the thought goes through your head, 'What in the HELL is that woman thinking?'
Yes, those women. The ones that don't even realize the fragility of the life that they carry inside of them. The ones that even though their babies "may" be born "healthy" upon appearance, may grow up to have all sorts of issues simply because they couldn't abstain for nine measly months while they participated in one of God's most miraculous events. Wow.
My husband and I were engaged and we were at a local festival with his family, including his sister and her daughter, who, at the time, was about three months old. My sister-in-law was an avid breastfeeder, she was carrying the baby in a sling, and just being a wonderful mother.
We then saw a baby that was roughly the same age, haphazardly laying in a dingy, little umbrella stroller, with no neck control at all, the poor baby looked like a rag doll. My husband said, "Oh my gosh!! Look at that baby!! He can't be older than two months!! Won't that damage the poor kid?" A passerby heard us commenting on the baby, and not missing a beat, said, "Nah....Don't you know? Those kinds of babies bounce?" It was hysterical!! But sadly, it was true. It seems that babies are definitely given to different mothers, and those poor little ones have to pretty tough and tenacious to get through every day.
Those poor babies whose mothers don't care one lick about what they do to them, whether in the womb or out of the womb, don't realize the blessings they have in their possesion, and just how lucky they are to be able to reproduce so easily.
So that brings me to us.......yes, all of us mothers who are in some way, shape or form high risk. Those of us that struggle to have our families. Whether you struggle with infertility, multiple miscarriages, blood disorders, or whatever has been thrown at you, we are in that high risk category. And it sucks. Or does it?
I mean, yes, obviously, it does. And none of us would wish any of our problems on our worst enemy because we know how awful whatever our diagnosis is to deal with when so many women have it so easy.
However, if we look at it as a mixed blessing, we realize that while our high risk diagnosis does indeed stink, we are so fortunate to look at our kids and realize that they are little miracles and the fact that we are able to get them here whole and healthy is such a blessing. And even though, as mothers, we have moments when we want to pull our hair out with worry, at least we know that we have something precious to worry about.
And THAT is definitely NOT a curse at all.
Yes, those women. The ones that don't even realize the fragility of the life that they carry inside of them. The ones that even though their babies "may" be born "healthy" upon appearance, may grow up to have all sorts of issues simply because they couldn't abstain for nine measly months while they participated in one of God's most miraculous events. Wow.
My husband and I were engaged and we were at a local festival with his family, including his sister and her daughter, who, at the time, was about three months old. My sister-in-law was an avid breastfeeder, she was carrying the baby in a sling, and just being a wonderful mother.
We then saw a baby that was roughly the same age, haphazardly laying in a dingy, little umbrella stroller, with no neck control at all, the poor baby looked like a rag doll. My husband said, "Oh my gosh!! Look at that baby!! He can't be older than two months!! Won't that damage the poor kid?" A passerby heard us commenting on the baby, and not missing a beat, said, "Nah....Don't you know? Those kinds of babies bounce?" It was hysterical!! But sadly, it was true. It seems that babies are definitely given to different mothers, and those poor little ones have to pretty tough and tenacious to get through every day.
Those poor babies whose mothers don't care one lick about what they do to them, whether in the womb or out of the womb, don't realize the blessings they have in their possesion, and just how lucky they are to be able to reproduce so easily.
So that brings me to us.......yes, all of us mothers who are in some way, shape or form high risk. Those of us that struggle to have our families. Whether you struggle with infertility, multiple miscarriages, blood disorders, or whatever has been thrown at you, we are in that high risk category. And it sucks. Or does it?
I mean, yes, obviously, it does. And none of us would wish any of our problems on our worst enemy because we know how awful whatever our diagnosis is to deal with when so many women have it so easy.
However, if we look at it as a mixed blessing, we realize that while our high risk diagnosis does indeed stink, we are so fortunate to look at our kids and realize that they are little miracles and the fact that we are able to get them here whole and healthy is such a blessing. And even though, as mothers, we have moments when we want to pull our hair out with worry, at least we know that we have something precious to worry about.
And THAT is definitely NOT a curse at all.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
So many blessings to be thankful for....
I've been thinking all day about what all I am thankful for and how much life can change in the course of one year.
A year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was just over 16 weeks pregnant with Samuel, but of course, I didn't even know if I was having a boy or a girl. Was it a Samuel or an Eleanore? (That was our name for a little girl, by the way.)
And now I am the mother of two amazing little boys and wife to an amazing guy. What blessings!!
This year, we donated money to the Star of Hope in Houston. We got our receipt in the mail along with a pamphlet about the missions we are supporting. I cried like a baby when I read all the stories and saw different pictures. Like I was pregnant or something!!
This time of year brings out the sentimental part of me (Yes, I am very emotional, like you can't tell from my posts.) But this time REALLY does more than other times, I guess because of the types of kids that I teach and the stuff I see on a day to day basis. It makes me realize that I am simply blessed because of good choices and fate, I suppose.
Anyways, I'm rambling on and on, but really. I am just so dang thankful that I have all that I have, and I remember, daily, as I am rocking Samuel or snuggling with Jay or locking the doors of our wonderful home that life could always be very different and that we can't take our blessings for granted.
I hope everyone that reads this is also celebrating a happy Thanksgiving and feels as blessed and fulfilled as myself. Peace and love to you all!!!!
A year ago, on Thanksgiving, I was just over 16 weeks pregnant with Samuel, but of course, I didn't even know if I was having a boy or a girl. Was it a Samuel or an Eleanore? (That was our name for a little girl, by the way.)
And now I am the mother of two amazing little boys and wife to an amazing guy. What blessings!!
This year, we donated money to the Star of Hope in Houston. We got our receipt in the mail along with a pamphlet about the missions we are supporting. I cried like a baby when I read all the stories and saw different pictures. Like I was pregnant or something!!
This time of year brings out the sentimental part of me (Yes, I am very emotional, like you can't tell from my posts.) But this time REALLY does more than other times, I guess because of the types of kids that I teach and the stuff I see on a day to day basis. It makes me realize that I am simply blessed because of good choices and fate, I suppose.
Anyways, I'm rambling on and on, but really. I am just so dang thankful that I have all that I have, and I remember, daily, as I am rocking Samuel or snuggling with Jay or locking the doors of our wonderful home that life could always be very different and that we can't take our blessings for granted.
I hope everyone that reads this is also celebrating a happy Thanksgiving and feels as blessed and fulfilled as myself. Peace and love to you all!!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Turn out the lights.....the party's over!
So Jeff and I have made it official that we are done having children as of today.
And it's a very bittersweet closing on a chapter in our lives.
But also a very necessary one.
Don't get me wrong, even if we "could" continue having children, which, yes, technically we could, but we all know that it is not medically advised, but if we were able to have children safely, we probably would still be finished having children. Two was always our magic number, regardless of what we had. Two is a great number. You are always busy, but not to the point of total madness, you have two hands to hold two little hands, two parents to man the children when things get chaotic, etc.
But I guess what's so hard is that it is all very final and done. It's just another part of my life that is "done." There's no more quick trips to the pharmacy to pick up a test or that total excitement when the test comes up positive. There's no more baby registries or dreaming of nurseries or thinking up baby names.
Remember when you were in junior high and high school and you would sit at your best friend's house and talk about baby names and who you wanted to marry when you grew up and what you wanted to be? All that has happened for me and now that part is over. It's just really sad, like saying goodbye to an old friend that will never return.
But in another way, it is very liberating. Now we can focus on raising our sons, looking forward to all the fun things we will do as a family: vacations to snow ski, the boys playing Little League Baseball, their first day of school, their first dance, their first girlfriend, etc.
One chapter of my life has ended while another is just beginning, and that part is exciting!! But sometimes you wish you could just savor that last part of the book a little longer. But unfortunately, in life, unlike a book, we can't turn back the pages....we just have to keep moving along to find out what happens next.
And it's a very bittersweet closing on a chapter in our lives.
But also a very necessary one.
Don't get me wrong, even if we "could" continue having children, which, yes, technically we could, but we all know that it is not medically advised, but if we were able to have children safely, we probably would still be finished having children. Two was always our magic number, regardless of what we had. Two is a great number. You are always busy, but not to the point of total madness, you have two hands to hold two little hands, two parents to man the children when things get chaotic, etc.
But I guess what's so hard is that it is all very final and done. It's just another part of my life that is "done." There's no more quick trips to the pharmacy to pick up a test or that total excitement when the test comes up positive. There's no more baby registries or dreaming of nurseries or thinking up baby names.
Remember when you were in junior high and high school and you would sit at your best friend's house and talk about baby names and who you wanted to marry when you grew up and what you wanted to be? All that has happened for me and now that part is over. It's just really sad, like saying goodbye to an old friend that will never return.
But in another way, it is very liberating. Now we can focus on raising our sons, looking forward to all the fun things we will do as a family: vacations to snow ski, the boys playing Little League Baseball, their first day of school, their first dance, their first girlfriend, etc.
One chapter of my life has ended while another is just beginning, and that part is exciting!! But sometimes you wish you could just savor that last part of the book a little longer. But unfortunately, in life, unlike a book, we can't turn back the pages....we just have to keep moving along to find out what happens next.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Three months old!!
I've been away from work for four months now and Samuel is a little over three months old!! Jay will be three years old on the 15th of this month!! Man, how the time flies!!
Samuel is doing great, sleeping through the night since he was seven weeks and starting to teethe already!! Jay is as smart as ever. He can play the C scale on the Piano, knows that an Octagon has 8 sides and can say the Lord's Prayer in Spanish!! Such a smart guy!!
I'm going back to work at the end of next week. I'm ready. Stay at home moms are very brave individuals and I cannot stand people who tisk tisk at them because I can assure you that staying at home is a much harder job than anything I've ever done. I, personally, am a much better mother because I go to work. So, to all you stay at home mommies, BRAVO and KUDOS!! You deserve it!!
I'm feeling good about getting back to work because for the past three years, since I gave birth to Jay, all I worried about was making my family complete and wondering what had happened to make Jay so sick. Then once we knew what had happened, all I worried about was rather or not we would get pregnant again. Then once I got pregnant, all I did was worry about whether or not the baby would make it through the pregnancy. Now I feel like I don't have to worry anymore, I can finally just focus on enjoying my family and enjoying being a teacher again.
This school year will be tough, as far as leaving the boys, whom I've grown so attached to and enjoyed watching them grow and develop, and also, some of the students heading into my classroom are tough and will be hard to teach because of different issues, but it will be rewarding, as all teachers know. Teaching is so rewarding. Being a mom is so rewarding.
I have the best life ever. I really, really do.
And honestly, not having to worry every day of my life like I have in the past, that is just so nice. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. Finally.
Samuel is doing great, sleeping through the night since he was seven weeks and starting to teethe already!! Jay is as smart as ever. He can play the C scale on the Piano, knows that an Octagon has 8 sides and can say the Lord's Prayer in Spanish!! Such a smart guy!!
I'm going back to work at the end of next week. I'm ready. Stay at home moms are very brave individuals and I cannot stand people who tisk tisk at them because I can assure you that staying at home is a much harder job than anything I've ever done. I, personally, am a much better mother because I go to work. So, to all you stay at home mommies, BRAVO and KUDOS!! You deserve it!!
I'm feeling good about getting back to work because for the past three years, since I gave birth to Jay, all I worried about was making my family complete and wondering what had happened to make Jay so sick. Then once we knew what had happened, all I worried about was rather or not we would get pregnant again. Then once I got pregnant, all I did was worry about whether or not the baby would make it through the pregnancy. Now I feel like I don't have to worry anymore, I can finally just focus on enjoying my family and enjoying being a teacher again.
This school year will be tough, as far as leaving the boys, whom I've grown so attached to and enjoyed watching them grow and develop, and also, some of the students heading into my classroom are tough and will be hard to teach because of different issues, but it will be rewarding, as all teachers know. Teaching is so rewarding. Being a mom is so rewarding.
I have the best life ever. I really, really do.
And honestly, not having to worry every day of my life like I have in the past, that is just so nice. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. Finally.
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