Driving...By Yourself.....with Two Kids.....from South Texas.....

So changing my melancholy reflections to funnier thoughts.....

Last week, after everyone left our house on Thanksgiving, Jeff and I loaded up our boys and drove down to South Texas to his aunt and uncle's ranch. When we left our house, it was a balmy eighty degrees. After the four hour drive, it was a windy, chilly low fourty-something degrees and drizzling!!

Everyone was at the ranch for deer hunting and hanging out. It turns out that small children don't do very well in the cold and with lots of people. By the following afternoon, Samuel was very cranky and acting like he was getting sick (he just got over an Upper Respiratory Infection the week before.) So I told Jeff he could catch a ride back with his mom and dad the next day, but that I had two capable hands, the Thomas the Train and Friends DVD, a Navigation system and carseats, so we were going to roll. That was at 2:45, when it was very sunny and seemed like a good idea.

Within an hour of driving, my back was aching and Thomas was rolling for the second time. It started to not feel like such a good idea!! I had to pee within only twenty minutes of leaving, Jay was in his regular underwear, but I was determined we were NOT going to stop unless Jay couldn't stand it anymore. My bladder aint what she used to be, especially after an appendectomy and two c-sections, but I can be extremely bull-headed.

We had been on the road for about two hours when Jay finally told me he needed to pee. I had two choices: just pull over on the side of 77 and let him do his business (we were in the middle of nowhere), or try to get to a town and go in a gas station or something like that. I chose just to pull over and let him go in the grass. The way I saw it, I was by myself with two kids that weigh over 20 lbs a piece and no stroller, and again - BY MYSELF. After Jay did his business, I got him buckled back in. Samuel was still smiling and happy. I looked at him with such pity and said, "Oh Buddy, you're happy now. You'll hate me in about an hour."

By the time we made it to Halletsville, it was getting dark. We'd been on the road for roughly three hours. I still had to pee like no man's business, but at that point, my bladder was so full, I was pretty much numb to all feeling, my blood pressure was at the boiling point and I was racing against the sun. Samuel started his first of about five meltdowns.

He had a bottle before we had left the ranch and had been changed right before we left, but at that point, who KNEW what had began to brew in his pants and the poor kid was probably hungry. Thomas was on about his fifth round of being on the DVD player - seriously, best damn invention for a parent's car. Yeah, yeah - to all of you that aren't parents yet - I said it, too. "I'll NEVER let my kids watch TV in the car." Famous last words. Never say never, okay? Oh, and after you have one kid, you realize a little TV, sugar, chicken nuggets, McDonald's, etc. WON'T kill them. Hell, we all turned out okay. But then again, that's not saying much.

Anyhow, the navigation system had me staying on 77 pretty much the entire trip. So when I got to Schulenburg, i made the executive decision to get on I-10 and start busting it out to get us HOME!! I was beginning to feel delirious. George Carlin is the narrator for Thomas and Friends and I was VERY over listening to him narrate about how Thomas was stuck, and he was ANGRY. George Carlin is much better as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Samuel was on about Meltdown #10 when I unlocked the gate. Our neighbors, Tony and Nancy, were at my house, feeding my dogs and checking on things when we drove up. Jay never had a meltdown....until we got home. Thankfully, T-Man and Nancy helped me get the boys inside. Poor Samuel had the biggest poop in his pants, but when he realized that I wasn't the meanest woman in the world and had simply been driving him back home to his cozy, warm house, he looked at me like, 'Okay, Mom. If you just get this huge mess out of my pants, give me some food, draw me a nice hot bath and put me in my bed; you and me are square.'

Driving by yourself for a long distance with multiple children is definitely not fun. I wouldn't recommend it as a recreational activity. However, as I go through my days of parenting young children, I realize I am pretty tough, I can handle a lot, and that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Suffice it to say, both boys slept in (very atypical,) and I was oh so happy to sleep in my nice, warm bed after a hot shower as well. AND I refuse to watch Thomas and Friends for a good while, at the very least.